pilgrims

Larken at 1.5 weeks

2012-01-24T14:11:00.000-05:00

This little girl has captured my heart. She is such a sweetie, very quiet and dainty. She sleeps alot, of course. She is so little, and her noises and smell are so perfect. I love her. And I am blown away by God. He is so good to us.

We are getting used to life together with a new one. I remember now how difficult it is to wake up to nurse during the night, but somehow, I have enough energy and rest to make it. Trevor's final semester of law school is in full swing, and it feels like the end is in sight. I am so very hopeful for our next chapter of life. He has a job interview coming up in February that we really would love to see work out... so pray :). Trevor's birthday was on the 19th, and even though we didn't do much to celebrate, it is still a milestone... he's 29. I can't believe how close we are getting to thirty. Life is such a gift.

Be back soon friends.

meet Larken

2012-01-14T17:19:00.003-05:00

Larken was born On Friday, January 13th, at 9:02 in the morning. She weighed 6 lbs 8oz and was 19 inches long. She came 13 days before her estimated due date. Labor was difficult and intense, but she is here, she is healthy, and that is all that matters. She is beautiful and perfect. I can't stop looking at her... she is so sweet and little. Trevor is smitten. Piper is so excited. We just got home from the hospital... I can't believe we are finally a family of four. It feels so right to have her here and to be together. I am so thankful for this gift of life that God has given us! So thankful to have my family, and for this amazing, epic story that God has written for our life.

piper at 2.5

2012-01-06T13:30:00.001-05:00

My little girl is two and a half, and I can't believe how grown up she is. She has such a bright personality, she loves being around people (like her dad; I am totally an introvert), and she talks about everything. She loves to talk. She's a beautiful little person. Seeing her grow and change and emerge makes me so thankful that we have another little girl coming our way.

xoxo

hi 2012

2012-01-03T11:14:00.002-05:00

2012 completely snuck up on me. But my house is in better

shape than ever.

So an update since I posted last... Christmas ended being different than we thought it would be, but it was wonderful. My dad was admitted to the hospital on Friday the 23rd to get a couple of blood transfusions. Turns out he has had ulcers for a while, and they were causing him to lose blood. Now that he knows and can treat them, he is feeling really good. He says he got the gift of his health back for Christmas. We decided to drive up to SC for the holiday instead of celebrating here so that we could be with him, my mom, and Trevor's family. We still put up a tree, and did a few small things to decorate and celebrate here at home, but having Christmas in our own house has not yet happened. I don't care, I am just glad that my Dad is okay. And it gives me something to look forward to planing. It is scary to see someone you love in the hospital with IVs and all the monitors, especially if they look sick. Remember my mom's illness? She has an autoimmune disease. She is still dealing with it, every day, taking meds and trying to live life.

My sister and her family came from Arkansas and we got spend New Year's Eve (and my sister's thirtieth birthday a little bit late) together. I am so glad that I got to see them, especially the kids. They're in SC now, and Piper went with them to spend some time with her cousins. She is in heaven. In the meantime, being here without her has been weird. The house seems so empty without her little footsteps and her sweet voice. I miss her alot. I wasn't going to cry when she left until Trevor started crying :). He is such a sweetheart, he loves her so much. In her absence we've been working on projects, making space to welcome Larken into our family. I made some fitted sheets for the crib and Piper's bed, Trevor finished the mid-century dresser for the girl's room that has been in the works for a long time, I washed all the newborn clothes and got the Moses basket pad recovered in a sweet print, packed the hospital bag. I hung up the Leah Duncan calender for 2012 that Trevor gave me for Christmas... isn't it perfect? I love it. I am amazed when I look around at my house at how it has all come together. In Portland, we lived in a 425 square foot apartment for three years. We brought Piper back from the hospital to that little home. We didn't own a dresser. Now, in the past 2.5 years, through the generosity of family, thrift stores, craigslist, ikea, and really all of it is and was God's giving hand, we have put together a home that is totally us. I love our space. It isn't perfect but it is a sanctuary, a place of rest, play, comfort, color and light. It's still a work in progress and probably always will be. It's a constantly changing, organic process. The nursery is almost complete, full tour to come. Perhaps a house tour as well.

When will this little girl decide to be born? We'll be 37 weeks on Thursday, so we're just about full term. She has settled so low in my pelvis that mobility is a challenge for me :). Our whole family is so ready to meet her. I just want her healthy, however that looks... but really, early + healthy is okay with me. Really.

And did I really say I was going to stop making bags? I miss my sewing. I have some thoughts and plans for this new year, but I am not sure that I'll be able to stay away from the bags forever. It will be a little while, though. I guess it all depends on what kind of little person this girl is, and I am totally open to not working until she is older... but we'll see. In the meantime, I am scheming some ways to grow as a photographer, cooking up a website, learning about the business, thinking about where to go equipment-wise. Things to take my mind off of the waiting, I guess.

Can't wait to introduce you to our newest little nestling, but in the meantime, I'll be back soon.

xoxo

blogging, nesting, and the beautiful holiday

2011-12-19T23:17:00.000-05:00

Oh wow, it has been too long. Really. I miss my blog :)

But I am happy that I have a found a place where I can blog here and there and not be too worried about it. I feel more open to blog when life allows it instead of making it something that is another item on my to-do list. Also, my blog isn't really something I want to update every day; I think of it more as a place to share my images, record large-scale movement in our family's life, and cultivate a place that reflects my aesthetic. So thanks for reading along. If you like the pace and experience of reading and looking here, then I want you here. I know I promised pictures of Piper in my last post. Those are still coming... I just want to show how grown she is getting. Such a bright, shining little girl.

The urge to nest, to cull, organize, and make my home environment beautiful and functional is a very strong instinct for me. I really do want to throw out/sell every unnecessary/unattractive item that is in our house. Simplify. I know this is part of pregnancy and everyone experiences it, but I am honestly surprised at what a driving and motivating force it is. I am thankful for it-- I am tired, my back hurts, but I have this urge to make everything right before she arrives, and it helps me stay focused. I am finishing the last of my holiday orders, I already finished holiday markets, and I am focusing entirely on my home... preparing for Christmas, preparing for Larken Winter, beautifying Piper's room and spending time with her and Trevor. Sweet Tyler threw a wonderful baby shower for Larken, laid-back with food that tasted amazing and white decor. I was and am amazed at the generosity of friends who came together in support of our family and this new little life. It was perfect. There is still so much to do to prepare for Larken's arrival but things are starting to come together, especially now that Trevor's semester is over and he is home. His final semester of law school is coming up. I am so happy.

Our first Christmas tree is up, and Piper is so excited about it... she had a hard time falling asleep last night, and every time we went up to check on her she wanted to know if the tree was still here. I think I mentioned this before, but this is our first tree because for the five years we have been married, we have traveled for holidays. We lived in Portland, OR for our first three years, and have driven from Georgia up to SC for the last two. So this year is the first year that we have done some Christmas celebration of our own. It's so beautiful. I hope to do a post about it all, complete with Piper pictures :)

Merry Christmas. Be back soon.

33 weeks and some links

2011-12-07T16:28:00.001-05:00

Hi friends!

Today I am 33 weeks along, gearing up for my last craft fair, and taking care of a sick Piper. Piper has had some rather persistent ear infection issues on both sides. This has meant antibiotics and a little girl who feels icky. Sleep has been hard for her, and so has eating. I hope we can get her healthy, poor thing. I'm selling this Saturday, December 10th, at Treehouse Kid and Craft on Broad Street. I think the market starts at ten and lasts till five. After this, I get to focus on Christmas and getting ready for Larken to come. There is so much that needs to be done and I am so much looking forward to getting my house decorated and in order. Nesting. All of that.

Trevor is in the middle of exams. He has one semester of law school left after this; he graduates in May of 2012(!). I really cannot believe how quickly it has gone by and how hard it has been. But also sweet in s many good ways. We are still waiting to hear about a possible move to Colorado, and still thinking through some other options. I loved hearing from all of you about the rad places you live! There are so many great towns out there. Whether we stay or go, I am excited. There would be benefits to both.

A couple of things I have been enjoying recently:

Dear Friend is a blog by artist Rebekka Seale. I love her blog and her art, and she is lovely. She and her husband are in the process of adopting a little girl from Ethiopia, which I think is so beautiful. I would love to have her design a tattoo for me. But I haven't even asked her if she does that yet.

I watched The September Issue and regardless of what you think about the fashion industry, this is a fascinating look behind the glossy pages of Vogue. Grace Coddington blew me away. Her vision for photographs is amazing.

I seriously love this piece of furniture, at a local vintage shop downtown.

I bought my glasses at Dynamite Vintage on Jackson here in town. I really love this little place. There is so much goodness on Jackson Street-- Rocket Salon, where the lovely Arti cuts my hair, and Community, another great shop that carries my bags, sells vintage and new clothing as well as work by other local artists, and hosts artists markets.

Once Trevor finishes his exams and papers for the semester, we are in full-on Christmas mode. As a Christian, this is such a beautiful time of year for me... the incarnation means Love broke through darkness, bringing hope, freedom, and life, and for me, for our family this is everything. I have some decorating projects planned for the house, which I will share of course. Be back soon with some pictures of Piper, since they have been so rare, and a report on how my (potentially) last market(for a time) went.

xoxo

since Thanksgiving

2011-12-01T22:58:00.077-05:00

We stayed in SC for almost a week. I sold at a holiday market on the 28th, at a venue in Columbia called 701 Whaley Street. I took these pictures (and some others) of bags that I made for the market. All in all there were about 20 new bags; I'll post pictures of the other on the Lightnest fb page.

I decided to forgo the December market that I usually do here in town, Athens Indie Craftstravaganzaa, in favor of a market at Treehouse Kid & Craft. It's on December 10th, at their location on Broad Street. I would love to see you if you live in Athens, especially if you read my blog. Readers are often shy about saying hello in person, but I really do love meeting the people who are connected to me through this journal of sorts. You're all so nice too,and lots of you have blogs or shops of your own. I have noticed a few new readers, by the way, and want to say hello to you all and thanks for reading along :)

Some notes from the past week: Piper has been dealing with some sickness and antibiotics, but is such a sweet little girl. She is getting so much older, and turned 2.5 on November 29th. She talks SO MUCH. I reached 32 weeks of pregnancy, which is awesome. It's hard to believe I only have 56 days left before we meet Larken, plus or minus a few weeks. I am starting to feel a little tired and uncomfortable. The next 8 weeks (or longer) will be a challenge I think. We are having Christmas here at our house for the first time, not just as a family but even as a married couple. This means we get to pick out a tree, decorate, cook, all of that. I am so excited.

I hate to run, but I will be back with a couple of artists/bloggers/shops that I have found and love.

Yay for handmade holiday gift giving.

thankful

2011-11-24T19:20:00.001-05:00

I know the day is almost over, but I just wanted to drop in quickly to say Happy Thanksgiving to all of you that read my blog.

My life is so full of beauty and blessing, and I know that yours is too. Today I am most thankful for the One that gives me life.

I'm thankful for my husband and daughters, and my mom, dad, and sister Anne and her family. There is so much that I could write... but I'll be brief. Thank you for reading, for commenting, for following along with our life, reading along with our story.

Hope your day was sweet and full.

hawthorne tote and 30 weeks

2011-11-17T12:28:00.001-05:00

Hey hey.

I am 30 weeks along today! I know you can't see the bump too well in these because they are all straight on shots of me, but baby girl looks good and is measuring right on schedule. I wonder if she'll come early, late, right on time...? I am starting think about what kind of birth I hope to have. We took a tour of the hospital that we'll be delivering at and it brought back all those memories of the drama of birth, the peace of holding your new baby and seeing their face for the first time. I remembered the first time I took Piper out of the house... she was born in Portland, and we took her to Bipartisan on Stark. Even with the soreness, the overwhelming nature of caring for a newborn for the first time, even with all of that I remember it was such a joyful, peaceful time. Being in the hospital also reminded me of that moment right after birth when you are waiting on the baby to take their first breath and scream, and how so much hangs in that moment. I can't wait for that moment. So much of birth is trust... trust that your body knows what it is doing, trust that labor is temporary and won't go on forever, trust that no matter what happens God is good and he is with me, trust that even with all the hurt and brokenness in this world, there is so much beauty for this new little life to know and experience. I am so ready to meet Larken and bring her into the embrace of our family.

I have been working on some new bag shapes lately, in preparation for the upcoming holiday markets. This one is called the Hawthorne tote, named after a lovely street in Portland. This is a big bag, so I will also make a smaller size available. The big size will be $50, the smaller size will be $40. If you want to order one, please email me! There are lots of fabric options, so let me know if you're interested in those. I really appreciate people diverting some of their holiday spending into the handmade marketplace, so if you want to give these as gifts, just contact me and we can talk about a discount. My email address is paige.maitland@gmail.com .

Speaking of holiday markets, I'll be selling at the Sustainable Holiday Celebration in Columbia, SC on November 28th. The event is held at 701 Whaley Street, the same venue where Austin and Amanda Kay had their reception. There will be food, wine, door prizes, and artists/makers. Should be a great time! Come see me and my work!

xoxo

paige

hello nice fall weather

2011-11-11T19:53:00.001-05:00

We went on a little family date tonight and had the best time. We haven't been out to Trappeze in forever, seriously it has been way too long. Chalk it up to pregnancy, I guess. I really have been kind of a hermit this go round. No fun. I can't wait to do this as a family of four :)

Larken and I are almost 30 weeks in. Getting closer. I really need to get that nursery together.

Thank you everyone for your encouragement about my plans. There is so much to look forward to in our lives. Trevor sent in his application to the Colorado state public defender's office. So now we wait. In the meantime, we apply to every county in the state of Georgia (basically), and make lists of any other city we would like to live in. This part has been fun. If you have a recommendation or live in a super cool town, please send it on down.

Hope you all have an awesome weekend and enjoy this beautiful weather.

plans.

2011-11-09T20:15:00.002-05:00

On Monday I went to my 28 week midwife appointment, took the glucose test (failed), and had another ultrasound. It was amazing to see Larken's little face and how much it has filled out. She has big lips, even though she only weighs 2 lbs. 12 oz. Precious little girl. It always floods me with relief and peace to hear that heartbeat, see her little body, and be told that everything is okay with her.

I know I have been absent from blogging and I have missed it. Thanks so much to you loyal readers-- I know I don't post that often, but that's where I'm at right now and I am comfortable with it (I take it you are too if you're still reading here!).

Piper has been sick, and we traveled with our sick girl to Charleston, SC for a wedding this past weekend. Our neighbors and good friends, John and Ginny, had a beautiful wedding... so perfect for them. The venue was gorgeous, the details were flawless, it truly was an amazing event. (Ginny is an event planner, btw.) Piper really had a hard time though, poor thing. She's so sweet, and loved on everyone at the wedding even though she was so sick. She brings so much joy to everyone she encounters. She shines so brightly. Also, fyi, she really doesn't like having her picture taken lately (thus the lack of recent pics of her). It's kind of a weird combination of being shy but also enjoying telling me 'no'.

So I have been thinking about the direction our family is headed, and me personally as a woman/wife/mother, and about the fact that things are about to change in the best way when Larken arrives. I have been thinking about what to do with Lightnest, which direction to take it, how or if I could continue to work after we get settled into a routine. I love being a mother, and the joy of our family life. I love growing into this woman/mother person that God dreamed I would be. I love my work; I love living this life of creating and making and beautifying, bringing order, and doing this as a mother. I also sense that this lifestyle gives me purpose, and this purpose is healthy for me. Of course this depends on things being in the correct balance. Balance looks different depending on the season in our family's life, but balance keeps me happy. All this to say, I think I see wisdom in pursuing photography more seriously. I love to sew and will always sew, but the bags that I make are not enough to depend on as a second income, and I am unwilling at this point to simply design the pattern, outsource the sewing, and handle the PR. That is not something I want to do right now. But it would be really hard for me to grow Lightnest, the sewing part, as a mom of two young kids unless I outsourced the actual construction of the bags (I mean I know there are other women who can do it and do it well, but not me). Plus, I love the fact that I am selling something I made with my own two hands; I can't bear the thought of someone else making my bags (except Tyler of course). It just isn't sustainable for me in this phase of our family life. Photography, on the other hand, is something I love, and it pays well. I have a strong desire to improve and grow and change, and a vision for where I am headed. My plan is to work on bags and sewing through this holiday season, and then focus on growing my photography business. At least that is the plan for now :)

The past couple of days I have been dreaming of new equipment, a lovely website, adverts and business cards, and all the things that would catapult me to success. But I know it will be a journey. A slow journey.

I took these pictures of some things from our house, just wanting to enjoy my camera and learn more about it. It is easy to get caught up in everything I don't have-- a full frame camera, a website, fancy photog gear. A fellow photographer and friend gave me some excellent advice this past summer-- she said to just be as creative as I can be with what I already have, and not feel rushed to buy the next thing. Equipment is a tool in the hands of an artist; it doesn't make you an artist. These are true words.

Anyway, I want to keep growing into this life that God dreamed for me, as a mother, an artist, a wife.

PS-- I am having a little sale in my etsy shop, lightnest.etsy.com. Enter the coupon code 'thankful' while checking out in, and receive 30% off your order. Good through Friday. Also, there are more styles and fabric available if you are interested-- please email me.

giveaway!

2011-10-29T21:41:00.002-04:00

Introducing the Holloway tote!

This is my newest bag design, and there are more coming soon.

Want to win this bag, or any bag from our etsy shop? Head over to the Lightnest Collective facebook page, click 'like', and leave a comment telling my which bag you love the most.

I'll choose a winner on Monday through random.org .

Just a little thank-you to my sweet customers and readers!

dinner with friends

2011-10-24T10:00:00.000-04:00

We had a lovely dinner with friends at Tyler's house last night. She lives with her roomate, Olga, close to downtown. I love her house; it is so perfectly eclectic and bohemian. We ate outside on the porch-- I should have taken some shots of the food, because everything was so good. But the light leaves so much earlier now that winter is approaching.

The giveaway I promised in my last post will be announced by the end of the week on the Lightnest Collective facebook page. I want to finish the new bag styles before the giveaway commences. I'm really excited to share some new work :)

Oh, and I am over on Erin's blog today. I love reading about her adventures with her boys in Alaska. I told her in our email correspondence that I am totally jealous she lives in such a beautiful place, and it's true. I miss living in the Pacific Northwest because of its grand-scale beauty. It really is breathtaking. I remembered what that was like to be surrounded by that during our trip to Colorado. But for some reason, coming back to the south has always felt comfortable, like home, even though I wasn't born here and didn't move here until age twelve. (I am originally from the Midwest-- born in Indiana, and lived in Wisconsin before moving to South Carolina). Anyway, I bring all this up because Trevor is at the point in school where he is starting to look for jobs-- he's graduating in May! In some ways we feel like we could go anywhere. I'll write more in depth about what he wants to do and why, and where we plan to apply. But I will at least say that the thought of moving to Colorado is a big part of our thinking right now. They have an awesome public defender program in their state. It would mean fewer cases, thus more time to spend with clients, and lower-stakes cases at first... which would be a great way to start out, we think. The state of Georgia is so overloaded with people who need a public defender, and even though that is a good reason to stay, one of the big issues is that PD's get burnt out. There is simply too much work, and they can't possibly give enough attention to each client's case. We're weighing all of these things and trying to think about what would be best. It's a process of prayer and lots of dreaming. More on that to come.

Hope you all have a wonderful week--

xoxo

26 weeks, and growth

2011-10-20T14:11:00.002-04:00

It became suddenly cold here, and Piper has a bit of a cold.... so I guess that explains the PJ's and cozies and crazy hair. But really my hair is always this crazy. Seriously, it was 57 at the highest yesterday. It has been nice.

We're 26 weeks pregnant today!! I still can't believe how long 40 weeks really takes. It feels like I have been pregnant for such a long time... and I have, over six months. The first half was super difficult, but I have to say that the second half has been easier. Right now the main preparations for Larken's arrival have to do with getting the nursery together. I half-heartedly began the arduous task of sorting through the closet in Piper's room (which is the nursery, fyi) and gathering things to give away. Lots of works needs to be done in there. Ahem.

We decided when we found out about Larken that we would go with the nurse-midwifery clinic at one of our local hospitals, and I have been super pleased with them. My appointments are warm, friendly and brief (but I think that is a good thing now-- of course they are open to me spending as much time with them as I need to). I don't have any complications, I have been through this before, and these midwives are operating on the principle that pregnancy is (usually) a normal and healthy function of a woman's body. They are in their element when the birth process starts. I can't wait to see them shine in labor & delivery.

October is a significant month in my life. I finally surrendered to God's work in my life around six years ago... I finally was tired of the life of addiction I was living and was broken. I went to a residential program called U-Turn for Christ in Greenville, Tennessee and God met me while I was there, big time. This place was like a Christian boot camp, and a very flawed ministry. But God worked in my life in some major ways through it, and there were some important things about it that were right, especially at that time in my life. I'll have to write more in depth about my experience there because it really was remarkable. And crazy. Anyway, I ended up leaving on bad terms with the leaders of the ministry because they were far too controlling. When I left, they told me I would never be effective in God's plan for me, that I would "fall away", and I wouldn't stay married (I was engaged to Trevor at the time). I remember leaving thinking that they were right and being so afraid that I would go right back where I came from because I wasn't under their rule anymore. But God had so much more in store for me. Mine is a story of God leading me away from a place of rules, legalism, and fear, and leading me to a place of freedom, growth, and fullness. I couldn't have dreamed of the beauty God had planned for me. Sometimes (actually really frequently) I look around me and am overwhelmed by how amazing it is that I have this life, this family, this relationship with God. It's all so right. This is God's work.

I started Lightnest in October 2009. I feel like I have grown so much in these two years as a seamstress and photographer. In honor of this anniversary, I'll be coming out with some new bag designs and hosting a giveaway on the Lightnest Collective facebook page. Be sure to like the page to hear that announcement and enter the giveaway.

Thanks so much for reading the things that I write and seeing our family grow and change. My blog has changed a lot too over these years, and it is really such a gift to have this space.

shops I love

2011-10-13T12:53:00.003-04:00

image by Erin Flett

Hi there! As I have been thinking through and planning for the nursery, I have been coming across so many lovely shops and things that I love, so I'll share.

The photo above is from Erin Flett's etsy shop. There is so much there to look at that I love. It really is too much. Really.

PataPri has stolen my heart and I like everything that she makes. Those baby blankets are beautiful.

I love Leah Duncan's shop, and especially this print.

Lotta Jansdotter's line of fabric, Echo, will be out in November, and I am thinking of making a crib bumper and some pillows for the nursery from these two: large scale and small scale. Thoughts? The crib will be white, so I am thinking it will work nicely with the mobile that I bought from Royal Buffet at Indie Craft Parade.

Also at Indie Craft Parade, I bought the sweetest painting of a little girl's face from Jordan Grace Owens to add to the art wall in the nursery. It's perfect.

And you guys, Sara Lee Parker blows me away every time with her awesomeness. She hand screen prints her art onto organic textiles and papers, and does it all right here in Georgia. She recently moved to Athens. She's incredibly sweet, on top of being an awesome artist. I really really like this fabric. Maybe it will be the crib fabric. Can't decide.

AND... I scored this sweet little vintage rocker, in near-perfect condition, with wooden peg legs, at Goodwill for $12. Thank you Lord.

This is one of the reasons I love thrifting.

Let me know what shops you love! And if you're on Pinterest and have a nursery board you think I would like, send the link my way :)

Oh, and visit my etsy favorites for even more goodness.

xoxo

she has a name

2011-10-10T22:08:00.001-04:00

We thought for sure that we would be having a boy.

Neither of us wanted a boy more, or a girl more, but the thought

that we would have another girl never crossed our mind until the morning of our first ultrasound. We kind of had the sense before we went that there was a very real possibility she could be a girl. We saw her that day

and were so excited to have another little girl.

Piper will have a sister, and Daddy will be softened even more

by his family of little women.

I love this.

Later that night we picked her name... Larken for her first name,

because it is beautiful and it will match her personality. (Someone asked me how we can name our kids before meeting them... I have always thought that I already knew them.) I love how it sounds with Piper's name. For her middle name, we chose Winter. This one has so much depth for us.

Our family has been through a winter season this year... it seemed like there was so much evidence of brokenness. But even in our winter, we found Jesus right beside us the whole time, never turning away, and the Spirit brought spring and new growth. The promise of new life lies within each winter. Jesus enters into our death to bring us life. This winter season has been a beautiful time in the life of our family, despite the hardship and heartache. We wanted to remember what this time was like for us, and God's closeness to us in our time of need, never turning away, never forsaking, always reconciling and bringing peace.

I am so excited to meet this little person.

paige

colorado

2011-10-04T13:49:00.000-04:00

Just a couple of shots from my trip to Colorado. I got back last night around two in the morning. I am 23 weeks pregnant, traveled with a 2 year old and three carry-on bags from Denver through two connections to finally land in Atlanta, and it was all completely worth it.

We stayed in a massive house in Winter Park, Colorado, elevation 8500 feet. (I didn't realize how much the thinner air would affect me, but it did.) We heard four people teach, who also stayed in the house with us and shared meals/conversations/life with us. We reunited with John, Bryce and Emily, and Andrew and Gretchen, amazing people and beautiful friends from Portland. I was astounded by how God met me there, and spoke to me about things for which I had been longing and crying out for healing. God was life-giving and intimately personal, as he has always been, and I left with renewed hope and a softened heart. I left affirmed, loved, and dreaming of things to come.

The aspens are at the peak of their golden color in Winter Park. I wanted so much to take our family out in the woods with camera in hand, but it didn't work out this time... I have a feeling we'll be back :)

I think the things that we talked and thought about on this trip will be seeping out of me for the rest of my life. I know that they were already in the works long before I got there... part of the story that God is telling in me and our family. I have a renewed longing to create and be a wife/mother/daughter/friend, and a renewed sense of who I am.

I will be back soon with our soon-to-come little one's name and why we chose it.

love

paige

Austin and Amanda

2011-09-25T12:47:00.002-04:00

These are just a couple of my favorites from the wedding I shot on September 4th. Austin and Amanda put together a lovely event from beginning to end, and I am so glad they wanted me to be part of it :) Not only was the wedding beautiful, but it was so much fun. I loved that this wedding was a celebration; you just got the sense that these two people loved life and were excited to begin their marriage. Trevor and I love these two and are so thrilled for them. You can see a few more of the pictures here and here.

I am blogging from Littleton, Colorado. I flew here yesterday for School of Theology, and will be joining with friends to drive to Winter Park later today. This is a big shift of gears for me, friends. I went from going full throttle to being alone and away from my work. I am doing some thinking this week about my life and what my plans are... I know for sure that I am going to cut back. I thought I would wait until after the baby is born, but I am seeing that I need to start now. I have some loose ends to finish when I get back into town, and will still be doing some photography, but I need to make some changes. I love my work, but it is starting to take over my life and I am unbalanced. I feel in some ways like life is passing me by.

This week will be about meeting with God, friends, his Book, rest, and being outside in the beautiful Rocky Mountains. I'll be blogging about the week when I have time, and sharing some photos. Bye for now, sweet friends.

hi!!

2011-09-21T15:36:00.000-04:00

Hi friends, I have missed you all so much!

My little blog has been so quiet.

I have been working hard to finish ICP orders, edit pictures

from two weddings, keep my household running,

and take care of sweet Piper. Things are going well with

baby #2-- we're at 22 weeks and starting to get bigger :)

I will share a picture soon.

For now, here are a couple of film shots--

Portra 400 on my Minolta x370.

I'll be back today or tomorrow with some wedding pictures

and a follow-up to Indie Craft Parade.

xoxo

Indie Craft Parade is TODAY

2011-09-09T09:51:00.005-04:00

I can't believe it has been two weeks since I updated my blog, but life has been rich and full. I have been hard at work, often with Tyler sewing here next to me (super fun), getting ready for Indie Craft Parade. The market starts TODAY and lasts through Sunday! I am so excited, honored, encouraged to be part of this event.

I shot weddings two weekends in a row, but I want to write about the most recent one because it is fresh! It was an amazing wedding- Amanda Kay and Austin got hitched with a circus-themed wedding in Columbia, SC. It was so much fun. The bride did a fabulous job of including her friends in making the wedding HER day. I had the opportunity to shoot the wedding and make the bridesmaid's dresses, Mari Smith made the hairpieces and sang in the wedding (along with some other super talented folks), Hollis Wright coordinated the big day, her mother made many of the details like the fabric flags adorning the reception venue. I'll do a more detailed post next week on the wedding, and share some of the pictures. For now, this is a shot of Trevor and I in the photobooth. The bride's mom chose the props, I provided the lights and the camera, the guests provided the fun. I LOVED doing a photobooth. It's great on many levels. I'll talk more about that in my next post and share more pics (but first I have to edit them! Sorry for the delay, everyone.)

We are twenty weeks now, halfway!! And we have decided on a name. I am debating whether or not to share it on my blog before she is born. She is such a gift to our family already. I am thankful :)

I hate taking so long between posts, because there are so many things I've wanted to write about and share, but simply have not had the time. This is just a season, but it really is busy. We have too much going on right now, but they are all great things. I am looking forward to some rest in the coming weeks. And more blogging :)

Be back soon with shots of my booth at ICP and more wedding pics!

girl!

2011-08-25T20:02:00.002-04:00

Just a quick note to say--

we're having another little girl!

I couldn't be happier!

so excited!

2011-08-24T12:31:00.001-04:00

I am so excited to share my new logo, blog header, and etsy banner, all created by Juliet Jones! She is super talented and easy to work with, and gave me exactly what I had in mind. I love it. Stop by her blog and give her some love! This is just in time to have new business cards made for Indie Craft Parade. I have been making bags and sewing like crazy.

I have some ideas for a couple of new bag styles as well. I'll be accepting credit cards, thanks to Square. I am really excited.

We have an ultrasound tomorrow at 18 weeks :) I have started bonding so much more with this baby. The first part was hard, honestly, and now that I feel a little better, I can enjoy the journey I guess. This second pregnancy has been really different than my first, and my life is so different than it was when I was pregnant with Piper. I love feeling kicks and movements, and have been daydreaming about this little one and who they will be. I hope we can see their little face. Piper would never be still long enough to let us see her face. I am so eager to meet this little life.

And this part I am so happy about... We are traveling to Colorado at the end of September to attend a week-long theology school with our friend John MacMurray (see also here), William Paul Young, Baxter Kruger, and some others. Being able to study the Bible with my husband again, away from work and law school, just being together and learning about God, is a huge gift. We were able to go on a dime, too, and I see God's care in my life by giving us this time together. I am still amazed that it all came together. This is a special gift. It means so much to me.

School started for Trevor last week, and the craziness of it all has begun. This is why I have been absent from my little blog. I have been getting a couple wholesale orders finished, and things will be a little hectic over the next few weeks with two weddings to shoot and ICP. But I love it, honestly. With the good and the bad. I am learning to be thankful during the hard times. As unconventional (sort of) and sometimes difficult our life is, I love this little family and all of our adventures. I love being able to work alongside my little girl. I love the environment of our home; it is so conducive to creativity. I love my husband and his heart. Piper just totally lights up when he comes home in the evenings. I am thankful.

And something totally random... my friend Rachel sewed through her finger. See pictures here. See her amazing work here. I had to share that.

Okay so maybe the vlog will be a little while? Trevor is a little caught up right now. You understand of course :)

xoxo

a little about my story

2011-08-12T17:19:00.003-04:00

So lately, there has been alot sewing and making things for my own house, some extra rest, some much needed time spent thinking and praying about Love. I made some pillows for my sofas, and I made a shirt pattern for myself (I am in the weird phase where things are beginning to not fit. This means lots of leggings and long shirts for me). I have been spending time in Romans again. It is so beautiful; the gospel is so beautiful. I painted my toenails a really nice sable color. I have been spending the mornings working on numbers and letters with Piper, I have been trying to take naps while Piper naps. All of this has been an intentional effort to live life, to rest.

Also, I added a third column to my blog, and redesigned it. You can still find all the links on the right; pinterest, facebook, Lightnest Collective and all that fun stuff is still underneath the pages on the side (they are the ones that are illustrated with the dashed font). Oh, and kind of a fun thing-- go to luckymag.com/kids, scroll down until you see the add on the right for Stride Rite (I think it says 'Enter to win shoes for the year'), click on the add, and then click the tab that says 'Mommy and Me gallery'. Piper and I are the first box! Yay. Things like this also are kid of surreal. It is strange to see us on a major website like that. Anyway. I am super thankful for the opportunity (thank you Lucky and Stride Rite!).

That brings me to my point... I received an email yesterday from a sweet reader who found my blog through a comment I left on Martha Stewart's website. I wrote a comment about making tissue puffs for Piper's first birthday, and I included a picture. Anyway. She wrote about how she was initially struck by how I (and another blog she found) seemed like one of those women who has it all together. You know the ones. Super mom, perfect house, prefect hair/teeth/nails, the whole thing (my description, not hers). She then said that after reading a little, she changed her mind about that (in a good way!). You can read her post here. It got me thinking about how difficult it is to represent my life accurately here. It may look like I have it together because the pictures and blog design are nice (but really they don't mean that at all. They are just here because I like to make things look pretty). I love Lightnest and my sewing and photography, but it is also a job (read: we need the money). That means that I have to kind of self-promote a little. If you read the 'meet me' section of my blog, you'll see a blurb that is meant to convince prospective clients that I am competent. I don't have it together, guys. That may even be among the more notable things about me. I don't vacuum my floors frequently enough and manage money poorly. I mostly shop at thrift stores for our family (not just because I like to), and except for the things that were gifts from parents, nearly everything we own has been thrifted (aside from our white Ikea sofa. It was a splurge). I let Piper go out without shoes on and she is often running around at home without clothes on (hoping it's a phase?). Lightnest is one of the first things I have ever been remotely successful at, and it is a gift from God. I made alot of bad decisions growing up, and God rescued me from a life of addiction that nearly destroyed me. I haven't written much about this in the past, but this is who I am. Shortly after God broke into my life, Trevor and I were engaged, and we married in June 2006. We moved to Portland two months later to study the Bible at Multnomah, and graduated three years later at the age of 26. I was pregnant with Piper my whole last year, and she was born two weeks to the day after I graduated. It is a tremendous story of the gospel and grace, and I write this now to say that I have nothing to boast in other than the love of God that redeemed me and made me who I am today. All these things that I am doing now, I learned to do after Piper was born. They are evidence of God's love. He gave me this life, these tools and my identity. Reading in Romans (so amazing), this is one of Paul's main points. He had nothing to boast in but the Son of God who loved him, and the same thing is true for me. My friend Allie has a similar story, and she is going to be blogging about her life and struggles with addiction. You can read her blog here. She just started blogging, and has been having some technical issues, but keep checking back. I promise it will be worth the read.

I realized that many of you who read my blog may not be Christians. But this is my life, and I long for honesty and being known in my relationships, no matter how surface level they are. What is the point of blogging-- to make me look good? No, it is to write about and share life. So thank you for reading, even if you don't agree. I hope to write more openly about this in the future. Talking back and forth with Alli, I was telling her how i felt like I didn't have a voice in my blog anymore. I went through some really hard things-- a difficult season in my marriage, a miscarriage, my mom's illness, loneliness, stress, feeling distant from God, depression-- and I didn't feel like I was able to, or even wanted to, share honestly. So I wrote about more surface-level things, which are part of life too and can be nice. But I didn't really want to blog beyond sharing pictures and links here and there. Anyway. I love blogging, it enriches my life, and I want to tell my story. There you go.

I know the vlog keeps getting delayed, but it is coming!! Trevor is so good, he has so many good things to say, and I really want you guys to hear his passions for people who have no voice. Coming soon.

xoxo

one dress, 100 days, for orphans

2011-08-08T15:01:00.003-04:00

My friend Eliani wore 1 dress for 100 days to raise money for children in India. Take a minute to go over to her website-- this is day 100!-- and consider making a donation. If 1,000 people gave $25 dollars, she could reach her goal.

Just a couple of quick other things (the vlog is still coming!). We have a LOT of this suzani upholstery fabric available for bags. Please email me if you want in on the action! Leather handles and jute handles are both options.

I loved this post by Lesley. She is the type of person that I could be friends with in real life... she doesn't pretend to have it all together (particularly when it comes to kids). She admits her need for grace and, thank God, doesn't even come close to acting like a good spankin' can cure everything. She just loves her little girl and isn't trying to hide that it is hard, and sometimes she doesn't know what to do. If you are a Christian parent and want to read (what I think are) great posts on raising children (written by someone more experienced and mature than me), check out here, here, here, and here. I love this woman's writing. She came out of fundamentalism and loves Jesus with all her might.

I also just want to say that I am going to throw a huge party for my husband when he finishes school. That's all I have today. xo

holy cow, I am overwhelmed

2011-08-03T13:36:00.004-04:00

So the overwhelming response about the vlog idea was yes. The vlog is a go. (I got the idea from my friend Emily. I know alot of people do the whole video thing on a regular basis, but she is someone I know and had not seen in a really long time because she lives on the opposite side of the country. Plus it was cool to see her laughing with her friend Jamie, who I have never met.) Trevor is excited to talk to you all.

Piper is up to her usual tricks :) She is the most amazing little person, and I love her sense of humor. From the minute she gets up in the morning, up until the time she goes to bed, she makes me smile and laugh. She brings so much joy into our life. I can't believe how grown up she is. Even when she is being a whirlwind of mess making and doing things like coloring on our furniture with crayons (they were washable, thank God), she's darling, and I love her. She's still sleeping on an air mattress because of a mix up with the parts of her bed, and her dresser is still in process, and the whole house really is in a state of productive chaos. It is making my OCD senses tingle. You can see some of her art wall in the pictures. The whole room will take some time to come together, and I am comfortable with that. I would rather let a space evolve over time then try to get it all together at once. I realize that would drive some people crazy.

As far as work goes, I am totally overwhelmed with everything that needs to be done, but totally thankful to have the opportunities that I have right now. Tyler secured two large wholesale orders for Lightnest bags that will go to brick-and-mortar shops in the Atlanta area. I am very excited about this and really, really proud of both owners' enthusiastic responses to the bags. Very cool. Indie Craft Parade is in five weeks. I can't wait! I love this market. It was an awesome experience last year, extremely well planned, and had a HUGE audience. I am really looking forward to being part of it again this year. And... I am photographing two more weddings soon! Shane and Kristin are marrying on August 27th, and Austin and Amanda Kay are marrying on September 4th. Both will be beautiful. Etsy has picked up a little, but is still not where I want it to be long term. But that's really okay; I have all that I can handle right now. I am 15 weeks pregnant tomorrow!! Almost halfway! Well, sort of. I am really exhausted. But thankful.

And my husband... he is getting ready to being his final year of law school. Law school has been hard. But I am so proud of what he has accomplished. God has been so kind, so generous, so faithful to give us these gifts. He can argue motions and do some other things this coming year under the third year practice act. But he can explain all that to you on his vlog. I am so hopeful for our future. I have no idea where we'll end up, but I am eager to see where God takes us.

Get ready to meet Trevor! Be back soon.
xo

a few pictures

2011-07-25T23:43:00.001-04:00

Tyler and I drove out to one of my favorite fields this morning to take some pictures. This came about because of a sponsorship by Stride Rite and Lucky Magazine which I will tell you about later, but even though this was for a work-related reason, I am so glad I have these photos. They are precious to me. Tyler did really well, right? I am holding onto these moments of being with sweet Piper; she and I share such a bond, and Trevor and I will forever cherish the first two and a half years of her life that we spent with just her. Another baby will be here at the end of January, and our life will be forever changed in the best possible way. I am so excited, so eager to meet this new little life, and also sensing that this will be major for our family.

Pregnancy has brought deep, strong emotions to the surface lately, and I have been feeling weary and out of balance. I have been relatively secluded for the past few weeks, mainly because of an abundance of work and traveling, and this is beginning to take a toll on me. Because I have been so exhausted, I have had to use all available energy to love on Piper, keep our house running (but barely), and fulfill my commitments for work, and there hasn't been much left over. Anyway, it is just a season, and it will pass. I think it is just good to write this to remind myself that pregnancy is harder than I remember it being. Lots harder. But also so full of joy and anticipation. It's such a time of contrast.

Trevor is coming close to beginning his final year of law school. When I first started writing this blog, he had begun his 1L year. He is going to be such a good attorney. He is so passionate about what he wants to do. I was thinking about doing a little vlog with him, talking with him about his hopes for his work and his heart for people. Let me know if you think that is a good idea.

I don't have much to pass on today... except for this. I love what she wrote, and her blog is such an encouragement to me. I read that post at exactly the right time. God used it to lift my spirits and remind me that the gospel is real and that He has a plan full of beauty and redemption for our family.

Love to you readers.

xoxo

baggage

2011-07-20T11:47:00.004-04:00

Just a quick post to show you the newest bag styles with leather handles. Leather has proven to be a challenging material to work with, but I love the results. These will be in the etsy shop soon, but email me if you are interested in an order before they are posted. I am really excited to share these at Indie Craft Parade this yeas, along with some other shapes coming soon. Be sure to like the Lightnest Collective facebook page to be notified of updates, sales, giveaways, and coming events. Here are a couple bigger images:

Talk again soon.

Paige

12 weeks, Piper, and the tilt-a-whirl

2011-07-12T10:18:00.003-04:00

Twelve weeks. One more week left in the first trimester. I am hoping for more energy, less nausea and dizziness, and less irritability in the months to come. So are Trevor and Piper :) And probably my clients, as well as basically everyone else who comes into contact with me or depends on me to do something. As you can see in the pictures above, I am beginning to develop a little bit of a bump. I am short- 5'2"- and I start to show pretty quickly. I have seen pictures of these tall, gorgeous women who barely look like they've gained five pounds at the end of their pregnancy (hello Bridget Hunt and my cousin Carla). That is not me. I become heavy with child. I have not yet decided if I will share pictures of myself toward the end. Trevor and I always laugh at pictures of me nearing the end of my pregnancy with Piper; my cheeks got so big, and they basically became one with my neck. I feel beautiful pregnant, though, until it gets to that end point of total awkwardness and waddling.

I forgot how pregnancy (at least for me anyway) brings a strange combination of energy and exhaustion. I have so much creative energy, and so many ideas about changes I want to make to my house (nesting, I know). But getting these things done is much harder. I sold Piper's crib and changing table and bought in their place a lovely Jenny Lind bed, a mid-century credenza that we'll use as a dresser and changing table, and an Eames knock-off chair. (Is that wrong? I really can't afford an original.) It's white with a wooden base. I love it. This all happened rather impulsively, and while we are in the process of refinishing the dresser and painting her bed, she is sleeping on an air mattress and her room is rather empty. She did super well transitioning to a big girl bed. There are some other things in the works too... I want to do two painting for our living room and one for the nursery. They'll be abstract and mainly just for the purpose of adding color and a sense of movement to the rooms. But really, before I do anything else, I need to get some work done for lightnest, like making our new bag styles :)

I took a couple pf pictures of Piper yesterday. She is in a phase where she is super sweet, but also very prone to tantrums. I guess that is part of being a two-year-old. Even with the meltdowns, she is a wonderful little girl, and I love just being around her. It's so crazy to see her face change and everything get longer as she grows into a little girl.

I wrote in my last post about the book Notes From the Tilt-a-Whirl. Our friend Jeff gave us a copy of the film/bookumentary based on the book. I have been watching it, and plan to reread the book (when I can find it... did I loan it to someone?) I'll share other things as they come to me, but one of the things that I have been thinking about is this truth that God spoke creation into being, and because of that, we are God's story, His poetry, His art. Having this perspective comforts me greatly as I experience conflict and struggle in my life. ND Wilson, the author, comments that as the Creator, God is the master Artist, and we as Christians should therefore be students and appreciators of His art. God, as an artist, allows tension and shading into my life, because He sees the whole work. He has purpose and intent, and all that I experience is part of this narrative, part of this story that He is weaving. Wilson notes that if many of us were at the helm of our own lives, we would remove all the contours and shading, the things that we associate with pain and hardship, and we would be left with nothing but a blank canvas. God is instead taking these shadows and using them to create unspeakable beauty. This shatters any notion of boredom or shallow indifference that I (and I assume others) can drift into. Art is happening all around us, and God is speaking beauty into our lives. I want to be an observer of the Artist. This book is tremendous, and is written to combat the very sense of boredom that I mentioned above. Reading this book, and reading two of the gospels-- John and Matthew-- I have been broken again by God's beauty, who He is and what He has done/is doing, and His beckoning for me to come and know him. You guys, he reached out and touched the leper to make him clean. He raised Lazarus from the dead. He left his Father to walk among us and touch us and die for us. He put up no barriers. There was no sense of 'clean up or show some sign of repentance, and then I'll come.' He came to rescue us and did it in a way that is totally personal, and by knowing Him, because of his love and acceptance, we are changed. He broke into our lives with love. I am totally amazed at his love.

Talk again soon.
xo
Paige

wedding pictures!

2011-07-05T22:00:00.000-04:00

Oh hi blog, how are you? I have missed you.

I had the gift of being able to shoot a beautiful wedding. Kyle and Bonne Cecil were married on June 25th at the Oakton House in Marietta, GA. It was beautiful not only in the simple artfulness of it, but the focus of the wedding was Jesus and the gospel. I had tears in my eyes through the whole ceremony. I am totally floored that they wanted me to be part of it. Bonne, if you read this, thank you so much. You were absolutely stunning.

I don't have time to write much this evening, but I do want to share something that I watched tonight that has been so major for me. Have you read the book Notes from the Tilt-A-Whirl? I just want to talk about it a bit in my next post, and to write a little about the short film that corresponds. Next time loves.

Paige

rad

2011-06-26T22:50:00.001-04:00

Tabitha Bianca Brown via her etsy shop

First thing up: art by Tabitha Bianca Brown. Her etsy shop goes by the name thepairabirds. I love it.

Have you heard of The Maker's Project? Jennifer Causey documents craftspeople at work with beautiful pictures. I am fascinated by the process of seeing artists at work, and how intuitive it is for them.

I already posted about this on facebook, but I am pining after this book. Chris Koelle illustrated a canon-wide view of the story of redemption, and it combines two beautiful elements: love and art. Yes.

I love this tutorial on making cheek stain from beets and glycerin. She has lots of great natural skin care recipes on her blog.

Tyler and I just purchased something major-- a leather hide :) Look for lightnest bags with leather handles, coming this fall.

I find out on the 28th if I was accepted to Indie Craft Parade. I love this part of the process... the waiting and suspense. Hopefully it will end well.

Little Maitland is growing well, and I will be at 10 weeks on Thursday. The morning sickness and fatigue has been rough, but I feel like I am coming out of it. I am having so much fun re-envisioning the nursery. I am really excited to see it all come together over time... I haven't totally decided what changes I'll make yet, but I will definitely share. You can see some things I've found that I really like here, here (bless you Martha), here, and here.

I like the thesis behind Kinfolk Magazine. I found out about it here. Love her pictures. Speaking of which, I am about to have another role of Portra developed. I will share.

We went camping for a night last Thursday night, and Piper cried through the whole night. I felt so bad for her. Our campsite was beautiful though, and we went with a sweet family. It was still SO nice to be out there. Piper is still learning the ropes, little munchkin.

I had the honor of photographing a beautiful wedding last night. It was so full of grace and beauty. The bride was shining with joy. It reminded me of the day I married my husband, and I remembered every moment leading up to our wedding, and how excited I was to marry him. I want to live that way every day with him. And it reminded me of this talk by Tim Keller. Please, please, please listen to it. Seriously, please.

Trevor is currently sick, and I am praying (PRAYING) that Piper and I do not get it. He looks miserable. And with that, I am off to bed.

Until next time....

xoxo

farmer's market pictures and camping

2011-06-21T14:40:00.001-04:00

These are some recent film shots from the Athens Farmer's Market.

Last Friday was our five year anniversary. We courted in Tennessee, got engage in Louisiana, got married in SC and moved out to Oregon, where we had our little girl. Our second child will be born here in Athens, and Trevor will graduate law school here next May. I wrote this to him already, but I fell in love with my husband all over again after seeing the things we have come through together. Our marriage is stronger, and I am more humbled, broken, and dependent on the God of my life than ever before. I realize more how much I need Him, and how much the gospel really is the most important thing in the world. I understand the gospel more and a little more about what it means to forgive, to love, to have tremendous hope in Jesus even in the midst of pain, to see things through, to not give up on someone, to really act out love by persevering. Things are not perfect; in fact, they are hard. Being in school (still) with very little income is hard. The pressures and craziness of law school has been very very hard. Trying to work to support our family and take care of sweet Piper can sometimes be hard and discouraging. But even in the middle of all this tension, I have a beautiful Hope, and I am satisfied and content.

We went camping to celebrate our first five years. We had to come home early because the weather got so bad, but we plan to go again this weekend for a night or two before the wedding I am shooting on Saturday. We camped near Avery Creek in Pisgah National Forest. It was beautiful. Our campsite was near the place where the creek widens, and there are moss covered rocks and pretty woods all around. It was amazing to be totally shut off from technology and media. I didn't realize what a constant level of stress I was under until I went out into the woods and gave the people I love my full attention. I was renewed in a big way. It got me thinking about where I am headed, what life will be like with a new baby, and how the creative things I love doing have (in some ways) become the source of a lot of stress in my life. I made some decisions about how I want to do life in the future. I guess that is a whole other post. I'll write about that soon, and include links to some pretty rad stuff I've been enjoying lately.

Talk soon sweet readers. And I promise to take more camping pictures this weekend!

Paige

I have to change the title of my blog....

2011-06-15T11:02:00.058-04:00

... BECAUSE WE'RE HAVING A BABY! We'll no longer be three, but four!

God is so good to me. He's the Creator of life. I am so thankful and excited about this baby. We found out this baby was coming on Piper's birthday, which is the day before my birthday. Both of my children are gifts. This came at a time when I needed to remember how intimately involved God is in my life, and that He is writing the book of my life with love, delicate care and beautiful plans. The baby is due at the end of January, close to Trevor's birthday.

The first trimester, and pregnancy in general, is not fun for me. There are things I love about it, but right now I feel icky and tired. We'll be out of the first trimester soon... I am eight weeks. Just a few more weeks, and hopefully I will have energy again (because I have some fantastic opportunities coming up for lightnest, and new bag styles in the works). We're seeing a nurse midwifery practice here in town, and I really like them. They have been super kind and reassuring. I did have some fears because of the closeness to my miscarriage, but they were so comforting and gave me an ultrasound at my first appointment, even thought it wasn't scheduled. Everything looked perfect and baby's heartbeat was strong :)

The pictures above are a couple more film shots, shot on Portra 400 NC. Piper says she wants to have a little brother :) I am sure she'll be happy with whoever the baby turns out to be.

Oh, and by the way... check out a guest post I did over on Rylie's blog! (There are some lovely other guest bloggers on there too!)

Back soon with more!
xo

lightnest is growing

2011-06-10T09:07:00.135-04:00

So exciting things are happening with Lightnest! I have been telling you about Tyler, my friend who is working with me. She has been a valuable resource. It is so refreshing to see the things I make through someone else's eyes, and to teach her how to do the things that I do. She has taught me so much too. She has a vibrant, creative personality, and she is really good at helping me think beyond the things that I am usually concerned with. I am very interested in the details and mechanics of how the patterns and bags are made, but by being so detail-oriented, I can sometimes lose sight of the big picture. It is so helpful to have someone else to help with this. Tyler is talking with several brick-and-mortar shops about carrying our bags, she has been sewing and posting bags on etsy, has been collecting ideas for packaging and branding, and has brought in some great clients. She is awesome.

Lately I have been thinking through some ideas for new bag styles, and new ways to do the handles. I have some ideas that are different and fresh for the shop. I am looking forward to sharing those, and when I release the new style(s), I'll have a sale in my shop... market totes and city totes will be $10 off for two days. Stay tuned for that.

All of this work and effort to grow my business has gotten me thinking about how far I have come from where I started, and it has all been a gift from God. I have parents and a husband that have given me tools as presents, things that I could use to grow and develop as a person. I didn't go to school to learn how to sew, or design patterns, or take pictures, though I frequently wish that I had. (Instead I have a bachelor's degree in theology and Bible.) I just really love sewing. And designing. And photography. So my work is something I love doing. And all the time I have spent sitting at the computer, reading about sewing and staring at pictures, and wondering how things are made or done, has not really been a waste of time. I absorb all that stuff and it comes back out in the form of something I have made. It is such a satisfying process that I love so much. I guess when you are doing something you love as work, it doesn't seem like you are working all the time or that it is this huge burden to get work done. My work has been such a blessing in my life. I really didn't start doing all of this until after my daughter was born... before she was here, I was in school. Reading and studying was what I loved to do (and running). It's crazy that I don't do a ton of either of those things anymore. It is a goal of mine to be a lifelong learner, and begin studying and reading again at some point, but right now, I just love making things and learning about photography. I love the process of refining my vision for my images and the things that I sew. I love making my own clothes and repurposing things that would otherwise be unwanted, giving them a new life. Because that is exactly what God is doing in my life, every day. He gives me new life and purpose, and he is constantly creating beauty in my life out of brokenness. I love that I get to be like God and do what he does on a smaller scale.

I photographed a beautiful bride for her bridal portraits last week. Bonne and Kyle are getting married on June 25th in Marietta, and their wedding is going to be totally gorgeous. The setting is a historic home with landscaped grounds. I am so honored that they chose me to photograph this major event in their lives. And then there are two more weddings coming up-- Kristen is getting married the last week of August, and Amanda Kay and Austin are getting married September 4th. I love weddings. My hope is to shoot weddings exclusively one day. In keeping with that hope, I have slowly begun buying the pieces for my very own medium format film camera :) Actually I only have the lens. And I bought the FIND guide (but I bought mine majorly on sale. Ask me how if you are interested in buying it. Best money I ever spent, seriously.) It is a dream, and it will mean reinvesting almost all of the money that I make this summer, but I am beyond excited and I can't wait to show you guys the pictures that it will take.

Oh, and my little two year old sweetheart is the most adorable person on the face of the earth. She gives kisses and hugs. She tells me what to do (hilarious). She is a picky eater but I love her. For everything that I love about being able to do the work that I do, the best part is that she is with me the whole time. The other day she said to me, 'I love seeing you all day. And Jesus.' Perfect, and so exactly true.

xoxo
paige

recents

2011-06-05T20:31:00.105-04:00

I took this picture during a recent trip to Folly beach in SC. She's so full of life. She has no regard for what other people think of her; she's totally self-unaware. She is just experiencing the ocean and is in love.

Recently, we have been traveling, celebrating birthdays and working. Piper turned two on the 29th, and my birthday was the next day. So crazy that my little girl is two. Trevor planned a surprise party for us in Columbia! It was so sweet. Trevor has been busy, and Piper and I have been sewing and taking pictures. I have some important things coming up... a couple of seriously beautiful weddings, a couple markets (I hope I get into this one again... remember from last year? It's where I got my start.)

I am looking forward to the rest of the summer... trips to the lake, working with my own two hands, our church, camping, watching Piper grow and celebrating five years of marriage with Trevor. We spent the evening driving around in the country outside of Athens, looking for places to rent and potential places where we might buy some land eventually. It's so beautiful around here this time of year. We found a fantastic log cabin that we would love to rent, but we'll see if it comes together :) I know God has plans for our life that are good and beautiful. I am waiting to see how this will all work out.

Some things I have been loving lately:

Pinterest. Do you guys have one yet? You don't? Email me and I might be able to send you an invite. So much beauty. I learn alot about photography just by looking over my pins and seeing what kinds of images I like to look at. This girl's blog! She is totally living the dream (thanks Lesley for telling me about it!). Seaweed snacks from Trader Joe's. (Seriously, try them. If you don't like them at first, stick with it, they'll grow on you. They're addictive, and they only cost a dollar.) Romeo and Juliet-- you know the one from our younger days, with Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio... it still blows me away. Gorgeous movie. Listening to this music. And a good, healthy smoothie recipe my mom gave me. It is really easy to make, and Piper loves it. You need:

1 banana

5 strawberries

plenty of spinach

orange juice

Add the banana and strawberries to the blender; cover with OJ. Fill the rest of the blender with spinach and blend. You can also add ground flax seed or any other nutritional supplement. You could also add ice to make it colder.

That's all for now. Talk again soon!

xoxo

paige

news about my mom!

2011-05-28T08:35:00.053-04:00

source

So the good news is that mom doesn't have cancer! This is particularly good because of the location of what they thought was a mass. It turned out to be an enlarged lymph node. Which brings me to the bad news... she has autoimmune hepatitis, which you can read abut here. This isn't as bad as the pancreatic cancer would have been, but it will still involve a lot of work for her to get better.

After reading over my last post, I decided it wasn't an accurate reflection of how I am doing! I entitled the post 'hoping' because I wanted to yes, be truthful about how hard things have been, but more importantly, to write that even through these hard things, there is joy and peace. I don't think the right way to get there is by downplaying the difficulty of where we are, but instead to think about and remember God's faithfulness and love. Through everything that has happened, he hasn't changed. He is good.

Today I am beyond excited to travel to SC and see my sister!! And her family of course. And mom and dad for sure. Maybe we can take a picture of all of us together :)

I also forgot to mention, as I was writing about Tyler, that she has a tumblr. You can find it here. She also has a pinterest.

Yesterday we drove out in the country to look at a listing we found on craigslist. It was about forty minutes from town, and the woods around the place were gorgeous. I don't think it is the place we will rent; but just going out there reminded me that I want so badly to move out to the country and have a farm. It was good to be reminded of our dream.

Be back soon.

hoping

2011-05-27T10:07:00.110-04:00

I would say that we have fallen on hard times lately, but I don't really know what to say. That isn't quite right. Alot of difficult things have been happening and I don't know how to make sense of all of it. With everything that has been going on with my mom, we have also come down with strep throat. We finally found a couple to rent our townhome, and we can't rent the farm we wanted to rent because someone placed on offer on it (but honestly I really hope that it works out for the owners). I sound like I am whining. I kind of am. I have been wrestling over these past few days, feeling sorry for myself, bitter at God (I am so ashamed to admit this but it is true). This idea that I am owed _____ (fill in the blank) is ugly. There is alot that has been so hard: our miscarriage, trying to come to terms with my mom's health problems and their possible implications, hopes deferred for moving, a season where it felt like all my husband and I did was fight, imbalance in my life; despite all of this, God is at work in my heart. My selfish responses to hardship, my bitter heart, my assumptions about what being a Christian should involve in terms of benefits to me (which is so wrong, it is the very opposite of our faith but we forget that so quickly), shallow assumptions about what a Christian's life should look like, these things are being shown for what they are and brought into light. The Light overcomes the darkness. The Light heals. Thank God for his loving honesty and work of renewal in my life.

My mom is having a more accurate biopsy performed this morning. We are anxious to hear the results, but at this point, I am hopeful. I know God loves my mom, and his care for her has been so obvious. We're traveling to Columbia this weekend to see her, and to meet my sister and her family. I am so excited to see Anne. And Gene and the kids. Then it is back in the saddle for me :) I have taken a couple of days off and am ready to get working again. Having Tyler work with me has brought a fresh perspective and so much creative excitement. These young people, they're so in touch with the latest fashions. I always feel like my vision is so small after meeting with her; I am so interested in the details and the mechanics of how things are done, and she is so good at seeing the big picture, she's a dreamer (I say that only half-way tongue in cheek, because really, she is). She is the prefect partner for me.

Also, can I just mention that I have found the coolest stuff at the thrift store lately? I always leave feeling like God loves me. I find the best stuff for a tiny little price. See the image above. I am most excited about the fabric on the left (I already made myself a bag out of it). Also, I love the towny plaid shirt for Trevor on the right. The white sheet with flowers is actually a vintage bedcover. It is so soft and is in lovely condition.

I have been bad about blogging. I promised myself before I started that I would not apologize about infrequent posting; I would just blog when I could and be happy about it. I didn't want it to turn into a guilt thing. So that is my approach I guess. I do miss blogging more often, though. I have fallen out of touch with so many of my blog friends and I miss them (you). I hope to be back more often this summer.

love you all

xoxo

pictures help us remember

2011-05-23T14:26:00.088-04:00

Before I say anything else, I just want to thank everyone who prayed, emailed, called, brought food, and were supportive and present for my mom. She has been released from the hospital, although she is still jaundiced and is weak. We haven't heard anything about her results yet... we're anxiously waiting. It is really difficult to wait. It is also really difficult to see her in pain, or hooked up to moniters and IV lines, or to see her weakened. She's my mom and I will always think of her as being strong, beautiful, and full of life.

As I have been thinking about my mom, I have been reliving lots of my memories of her and savoring them. They have become precious to me over these past few days. Growing up, she saved a few pictures of herself as a child, teenager, and then young woman, and I used to love looking at them... I loved looking at what she wore, and how she did her hair, where she was and who she was with, what her friends looked like. I formed this image in my mind of who she was before she became my mom and I was fascinated by that. That mental image has influenced my sense of self and my vision for my own feminity. I have always not liked looking at pictures of myself, and I realize now that this is not good. The reasons that I don't like pictures of me are so petty. It will be so precious to my family one day to have these visual reminders. And I need these reminders of them too. There is something about being able to see someone's face, their hair, their expression and posture, the little details... something that helps us remember who they were. So my hope I guess is to be more diligent to record us, including me. And also to actually print out more of my digital pictures (another reason why film is great). The headscarf I am wearing was a recent thrift store find. I used to wear scarves alot more, but my favorite scarf was over ten years old and was starting to fall apart. I remembered to look on my most recent trip and found a couple of really pretty ones for cheap. I love the thrift store. Head scarves are back in action.

We are back in Athens after lots of back and forth between Columbia and Myrtle Beach. Our time at the beach was so much fun, even though it was tempered with concern for my mom. Piper loved being there. This was the view from our hotel room:

The beach was gorgeous, the sun was beautiful, and I hate that I didn't get any good pictures of us all together.

Now that we're back, I have cleaning to do, orders to make and deliver, pictures to edit, a birthday party to plan (Piper will be two on the 29th!) and adventures to take with Piper and Daddy. I'll keep everyone updated on things with my mom, and hopefully will be able to blog a bit more in the coming weeks.

xoxo

my mom

2011-05-19T19:20:00.051-04:00

image found here

My mom is really sick... she had been having nosebleeds, and while out with my dad one night, he noticed that she was turning yellow. She became really jaundiced. They took her to the doctor, who found a mass on her pancreas. The mass is preventing her liver from functioning properly, which is why she developed jaundice. She had a biopsy performed yesterday, but the activity caused her pancreas to become agitated and she developed pancreatitis. She was re-admitted to the hospital last night.

This all happened really suddenly. We found out about it the night before we left to go on vacation with Trevor's side of the family. We had to drive through Columbia on the way to North Myrtle Beach to meet them, and we left early to see my mom just before she went under for surgery. After seeing her for a little while, Mom and Dad urged us to go on, that we couldn't do much until the results of the biopsy results came back, so we did. But then I found out she was in pain and had been readmitted so I left Trevor and Piper to come see my mom. I am really glad that I am came. It was so worth the drive back to be here with her and Dad. (Miss you Anne; we know you want to be here.)

All of this made me think about how much I love my mom. She is an incredibly vibrant woman who is so compassionate, feels deeply, loves her Savior and her family, and has a giant heart. I realized how much I take her for granted sometimes. I hope that you who are reading this can pray for her and our family.

Be back soon.

mother's day, market recap

2011-05-09T23:07:00.086-04:00

This has been an incredibly busy month-- three craft fairs in four weeks, Mother's day, orders, photo shoots, and just everything has been so hectic. Yet in the midst of everything, we have raised some stones to help us remember our family right now.

Our community group met in our home for possibly the last time with the same group of people. Having these people in our home (almost) every Sunday has been so good for our family. There is something so true and tangible about friends that you can hug, cry with, pray with, eat and laugh with. These friends came, rain or shine. They came when things were good and they came when things were bad. They have been a constant in our lives. It has been a beautiful time. We hope to continue to meet with them in some way as a group.

Some major milestones are coming up for us... Piper will be two on May 29th (!), my birthday is the next day, our fifth anniversary is on June 17th, and at the end of August, Trevor will enter his final year of law school. He is working again this summer with the public defender's office, helping indigent people receive legal representation in criminal matters. He is able to truly help people is a way that is so valuable. Some come from backgrounds and situations that are beyond our understanding. So many are truly broken. I am glad that he is the one who can visit them in jail-- Trevor has a huge heart, and I know he really cares about them. I can't wait to see where this all goes :) You know my hopes about a farm one day, and I see God continuing to move us in that direction, even when it seems impossible. I look forward to our years to come as a family.

The artist's market I did this past Saturday ended up being a huge success. It got off to a rough start that morning, but I ended up selling almost everything that I brought. I met so many great people too. I want to tell you guys about Sara Lee Parker, a friend that I met in Columbia at Crafty Feast, whose work I admire so much. She makes silk screens from her illustrations, and prints them with earth friendly inks on organic cotton/hemp blend fabrics. She lives in Georgia on a farm. You can find her shop here. I traded a bag of mine for a tea towel and pillow cover of hers (something that is so great to do at markets), and I am so in love with everything she makes.

Another vendor I met that I loved was Janae of platypusfile. I bought a present for Piper's second birthday from her. I love her stuff; the Gocco prints are amazing, and everything she brought to market was beautiful, verdant, and bright. She is super gifted and I would totally recommend her stuff to anyone wanting to add something pretty and handmade to their little one's nursery.

Mother's day... I photographed Piper in nearly ideal conditions (early in the morning before church), Trevor took me to the lake and then to Trappeze, we sent love to my mom, my sister, my mother in law, and my grandmother. It wasn't one of those things where I was spoiled or whatever (though those can be nice).... we just did what we love to do.

love to you until next time!

xoxo

hello May

2011-05-03T15:33:00.066-04:00

May is already here. This year is flying by.

Last week was a good week. I sold at an Americana/Bluegrass festival, and although it wasn't the best market I have ever done from a monetary standpoint, it was a whole lot of fun. We met some friends there; George, our friend, played, and Piper danced with George and Elisha's kids.

I am selling again this weekend, on Saturday, here in town, so I have been sewing alot with breaks in between. Piper and I try to get out to the lake a couple times a week for some time outside. It has been so good to see her playing and splashing out there. She totally loves it, and I really like being still, thinking and watching her, and taking in some sunshine. I love my work, and I love the creative lifestyle, but it does get to be a little repetitive. I do take alot of joy in making things well, and paying alot of attention to details, but the repetition can still get a little old. I am also ready to start sewing more clothes again. I intended to get a spring collection together this year but time got away from me. I still want to make some things for myself and for my little girl... once this season of craft fairs is over, I plan to do more personal sewing. I hold these things loosely, though, knowing that as a mom, you never know how much time you will have.

I am looking forward to traveling to SC in a couple weeks to go to the beach with Trevor's side of the family. Piper is already turning a little brown; she has the sweetest little girl skin. She is going to love the ocean. We did this last year, and she was alot smaller; I think this year she will never want to leave. Her birthday is coming up (and also mine, which is the next day). Can't wait to celebrate her second year of life.

Also, in the pictures above, we went to eat at a great little place in town. We really like finding places that are kid-friendly to eat at. Cali-n-Titos is awesome on that level. Plus the food is really good, and the atmosphere makes me feel like I am on vacation somewhere tropical.

Take care and be back soon.

xoxo

Athens Americana Music Festival-- and a discount

2011-04-30T08:31:00.020-04:00

Hey guys-- come see me at the Athens Americana Music Festival, between 4 and 7 at Little Kings, and mention the title of my blog-- I'll give you 10% off your choice of bag.

Same goes for the Athens Indie Craftstravaganzaa on May 7th, from 10 am to 7pm in the parking lot of Caledonia Lounge and Agora. I am not on the vendor list (I don't think... a mistake on my part) but I will be there.

Hope to see you there!
xo

my first role of portra 160, and the fallout

2011-04-27T10:31:00.002-04:00

I took my little Minolta to the farmer's market (it was super overcast) and dinner with my parents at Big City Bread. This was my first role of portra. Most of the frames I shot at Kyle and Bonne's engagement session. I'll share those later. This film is incredible, though you may not be able to see it from my images. Lots of people recommend that you overexpose it by two stops or so, and I was cautious and only went one over. Next time I will go for two for sure. Properly overexposed, this film gives that gauzy yet sharp, light-flooded look with soft, warm, muted colors. Leo Patrone and Jonathan Canlas shoot Portra, although they are shooting in the far superior medium format. If you have been reading my blog for a bit, you may have heard me use this term... you can read about it here if you're not already familiar with it. Some other photographers who shoot medium format film are Jose Villa, Jill Thomas (whose website I am totally in love with, done by the amazing Finch Design), and One Love Photo. These are my photographic heroes. I love the look of their images. I hope to one day have a medium format set up of my own. We'll see.

Hey, do you guys read Lauren Nicole Love and Make it MAD? They're on a road trip and will be passing through Athens. They're planning to stop and visit with us a bit. I'll be sure to let you know if that works out. I am completely challenged by what they write, and I hope to be able to meet them in person so that I can hear more of what they have to say.

I know that I always say I am going to write about something in my next post and almost never do... I've done it with the bangs tutorial, the theology post, etc. I think that is okay though. I write about the things that are on my mind when I have the time to sit at my computer. So I hope that makes sense. I don't want to be totally out of touch with my readers, but the same time I have to do what interests me with my blog. Otherwise it isn't authentic. I love all you readers, and even though I don't have time to respond to every one of your comments, please know that I read them and feel totally loved! The blogging community is so amazing, creative, and supportive, and I am so glad to be part of it. (Also, hello to my new subscribers; thank you for reading!) I have had a couple of offers be sponsored, advertise, or 'exchange links' and stuff like that, and I have decided against doing those things because I need my blog to have no strings attached. If I accepted those offers, I would feel some pressure (whether truly there or not) to write more, write about certain topics, target a specific audience, or maybe even change the blog all together. So it remains what it has been from the beginning... just a glorified diary, a place to write about my life and my family, a place to write about my walk with God, a place to post pictures of my pretty little girl and document her growth, and a place to share my sewing and photography work.

And that brings me to my miscarriage. I am so glad that I have this place to write, however briefly, about what happened because hard things are hard to share sometimes. I did not want to call people up after my miscarriage to tell them about it. I was having a hard time putting into words what I was feeling, and I still am... alot of people ask how we are doing, and neither Trevor or I know what to say. There isn't a nice, unified, convincing spiel that I can give about why this happened or how I/we are better because of it. But there are evidences of redemption.... they are scattered, and I am starting to piece them together. I am still struggling with the pain of losing a baby. In some ways it is just now sinking in that there would have been a baby with a face and a name, a baby growing with little kicks and a birth story. Truthfully, it is really hard to think all the way through a life that won't be lived. I am really clinging to the fact that it was early; I am thankful I didn't have to go through the much harder process (like my friend Elisha and so many other women have) of saying goodbye to an 18-weeks (or further)-along baby. You guys don't know Elisha, but she has two other little ones and she is pregnant with a healthy baby. She has come full circle in some ways and it is really good for me to see. I am so glad for her healthy pregnancy. It gives me alot of hope. So there are some things that have been bringing me so much comfort... Piper's sweet hugs and kisses, the way she tells me she loves me, seeing her beautiful face and watching her joy in being alive. My husband and his presence in my life; he really is such a priceless gift. I am becoming more and more thankful for the gift of his life. The Psalms. Being outside in God's creation which, as John MacMurray says, God uses to call me to come and know Him. Sun on my skin at the lake. Seeing Piper and her friend Wren dancing their hearts out to bluegrass music, just having so much fun being together. Seeing Piper with all her friends; she loves them so much, and so freely without pretense. There are no angles in her relationships with people. She just loves being around them. I wish I could preserve that in her forever. Food. Dinners with our friends. My camera(s). My sewing machine, bright, pretty fabrics, and my sewing area which is so perfect. The faithful, listening ear of an old friend. Summer clothes and warm weather. God's presence and grace over my life (most of all). Clinging hard to Him and realizing, again, that He is all I have and He is so much more than enough... that I am rich in Him. This song, when I didn't know what else to say. The gospel. The words of my pastor reminding me that we are caught in this life between death and resurrection, and sometimes we feel the death more than the resurrection... these things help me make a little sense of this hard time. I will say that through this, I felt so strongly the weight of brokenness, and in some ways, hearing the gospel again has been sweet to my heart like the first time I understood it. There is freedom from sadness and death, and I am so thankful for living an Easter life in the midst of Good Friday.

Talk again soon.
xo

an engagement shoot, Trevor's new hobby, and Good Friday + Easter

2011-04-22T15:20:00.001-04:00

Before I write anything else, I just want to say thank you to everyone who commented, emailed, called, prayed and encouraged our family. You guys have all been so kind and compassionate. Thank you. We have some amazing people in our life. I'll write a little bit about how we are doing in my next post.

Isn't this the cutest couple? I have had the BEST time working with Kyle and Bonne... they are so laid back in front of the camera. I felt totally in my element as a photographer shooting these two. I love the way these turned out. I am shooting their wedding on June 25th and I am really excited to be part of this moment in their life.

So you guys may not know this, but Trevor has been looking for a hobby for a long time. He really liked getting into 'discussions' with people (I would call them arguments) at Multnomah, but since we left Bible college, we've found that people outside of that environment don't really debate theology or hermeneutic strategies for fun. So that can't really be his hobby anymore. He tried brewing beer, but it's something he usually does with one of his friends. He needs something he can do whenever he wants that is easy to leave and pick back up. Plus we don't have all the equipment. He has always wanted to be good at music but is tone deaf and doesn't really have the rhythm. He just doesn't have the music inside. He plays poker online and is good at it, but wants something a little more constructive. It's an issue of having something that isn't primarily intellectual in nature that he can invest time in becoming good at. It's a personal development thing. Anyway, he bought a bonsai tree from a man on the side of the road. See picture.

Did you know that the goal when caring for a bonsai tree is to make it look like a full grown tree in its natural habitat? I am not really sure how well this will pan out as his hobby... I mean you're only supposed to trim them once a year, and upkeep is pretty minimal other than that. Maybe he just needs to do more research and become a bonsai expert. Being an expert at something could be a viable hobby.

Today is Good Friday, and we're going to church tonight... I love Easter; this whole progression from Palm Sunday, to Maundy Thursday, Good Friday, and finally Resurrection Sunday is so profound. We are celebrating everything that God has done for his creation and in us over these next days with friends and family. I have posted this on my blog before (I love this video), but it is worth taking a look at again... just thinking about Easter is amazing... Jesus' life, death and resurrection is the focal point of history, it is huge and of such great significance on a cosmic level, but yet he met people in such intimate and personal ways. He knows our hearts, he created us and shapes our lives. God became man and ran to save us, he knows us intimately and calls us to know him more. And we are changed because of who he is, because of his love. Blows me away.

I'll be back soon with another post: an update on sweet Piper with some pictures (she is so wonderful! I love her so much!), a tutorial for trimming bangs (for those who requested), and some exciting events that I (and probably Tyler too) will be selling at soon.

Love to you all.

Paige

miscarriage

2011-04-19T10:22:00.001-04:00

Things have been pretty quiet around here. I am back in Athens from Crafty Feast, and now that I am home and things have settled a little I want to write about my miscarriage. It is important to me that I remember what happened and raise a monument of sorts to this brief little life.

On Friday of last week, Piper and I drove to Ikea to buy more fabric for the craft fair. That morning, and the morning before, I remember there were the clear symptoms of pregnancy. I just knew. All day on Friday, I felt excited and I remember that I started planning... when the baby would be born, how I would stop work for a time to welcome this new little life, which pregnancy clothes I still owned and could wear, what changes I wanted to make to the nursery. Trevor was so. excited. On Saturday we took a pregnancy test. We had a faint positive, but it was positive :)

We didn't tell anyone right away because we wanted to wait until we got a good strong positive. It was still early. Over the next couple of days, we took a few more tests, and they kept growing more faint until eventually nothing showed at all. I kept consoling myself that it was early yet; it may just not show back up until I missed my period. But something else was happening-- my symptoms were fading. By Wednesday I knew I wasn't pregnant anymore. I tried to see my OB to get a blood test and some advice, but she couldn't see me until the following Friday. I went to an urgent care, brought Piper with me, and was basically treated like I was wrong, and was never pregnant in the first place. They drew some blood for a test and when they called to tell me that it was negative, the nurse said that meant I was never pregnant which is NOT true. I was so frustrated because I felt like no one was listening to me.

Finally, on Thursday, I started cramping really badly and bleeding. I went to the ER. I had a good doctor who not only listened to me but was sympathetic and kind. I was there for a couple of hours and then I went home.

My friend Elisha had a miscarriage at 18 weeks. It was a partial molar pregnancy. She wrote this poem. It's called Silent Child.

I thought you would come to me as a child
A crying child
With pink flesh wiggling and mouth sucking
I thought you might have red hair or blond
Brown eyes or blue. I imagined
The children watching and playing and helping.

I thought about getting to know you --

What name would we give you?

Who would you be? What would you love?

But, you answered me with silence.

Your heartbeat lost.

You didn’t come to this world.

The disastrous oil spill

The worldwide wars

The horrifying earthquakes

The wavering economy

The desire for fortune and fame

The molestation of forests, land and oceans

You came to me instead as:

A bouquet of roses and another of hydrangea,

Water rippling on the lake in the breeze

Followed by a steady cool rain.

Meals and love from neighbors, friends and family

Accompanied with trinkets for the children.

As deep understanding from sisters,

Known grief shared with my brother,

Reassurance and strength from my husband,

Delicate hands of the nurses and

Wise decisions and advice of doctors, and

As a strange silence in the house.

You had already filled our lives.

In conversation, dreaming and planning.

One day I will meet you and know you a little

Because of who you helped me to become

And of the reminder you provided –

The beauty of humanity and the hope of Glory.

-- by Elisha Boggs

This poem captures the whole sense of loss that is a miscarriage. Her pregnancy was so much farther along than mine. I am thankful that this didn't happen later, that I am still healthy and able to have more children, that I have a beautiful daughter who is alive and safe, that my friends and family have been so supportive. It is just a difficult experience all around... hard to know why it happened, if I did something wrong. Everything I've read indicates there was nothing I could have done. The unknown is a difficult thing to grapple with; it is difficult to hand over. I kind of want to hang on to it and try to make some sense out of it. But the thing is, I can't. If I ever felt small and powerless, this is that time. I am not big enough to carry this sorrow, and I am not big enough to know what happened or have the power to heal my own wounds. God is big enough. He is bigger than all of this. He is good despite the hurt and sorrow in my life and he is a refuge from the brokenness of this life.

In Genesis 8-9, after the flood, Moses records one of God's promises: "'I will never again curse the ground because of man, for the intention of man's heart is evil from his youth. Neither will I ever again strike down every living creature as I have done. While the earth remains, seed time and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night, shall not cease.'" God then blesses Noah and tells him to be fruitful and multiply. What's crazy is that Isaiah takes that pattern and expounds on it. After the suffering servant passage that foretells Jesus' sacrifice ("... yet he bore the sins of many, and makes intercession for the transgressors" 52:13-53:12), Isaiah writes, "'Sing, O barren one, who did not bear; break forth into singing and cry aloud, you who have not been in labor! For the children of the desolate on will be more than the children of her who is married,' says the LORD. 'Enlarge the place of your tent, and let the curtains of your habitation be stretched out; do not hold back, lengthen your cords and strengthen your stakes.'" Isaiah is comparing the sacrifice of Jesus to the flood, but he's saying that this time, instead of God pouring out anger on his creation for their sin, he took it on himself and makes many to be counted righteous. He's saying that now, everything wrong was made right, the brokenness of creation was reversed, and even the woman who has not known pregnancy will need to expand her tents to make room for babies. This is clearly a metaphor, but the bearing that this has on my life is so full... like the barren woman, there are evidences that things are wrong, they are not as they should be, and this loss is one of them. It hurts and is painful. But God answers that loss with something so profound, something that transcends this loss and heals the greatest hurt of my hurt and every heart.

"'This is like the days of Noah to me: as I swore that the waters of Noah should no more go over the earth, so I have sworn that I will not be angry with you, and I will not rebuke you. For the mountains may depart and the hills be removed, but my steadfast love will not depart from you, and my covenant of peace will not be removed,' says the LORD, who has compassion on you." Isaiah 54:9-10

I am mourning the loss of this little life, but beyond comforted that I have peace because of that suffering Servant. And I am looking forward to being fruitful and multiplying in the future :)

crafty feast! and lightnest collective!

2011-04-08T08:17:00.000-04:00

Hi! Life has been crazy gearing up for Crafty Feast. I am SO excited to be part of this lovely market. It's part of the Indie Grits Film Festival, Slow Food Columbia will be there, food and beer vendors will be selling their yummy goodness, there will be live craft and sewing demonstrations, and they have a craft tent for kids. Oh, and Toro Y Moi is playing. Visit the website to find out more.

I also want to let you all know that I created a facebook page for my business. You can also find the link in the 'find me elsewhere' section on my sidebar. I'll be using the page to show recent photography work, host giveaways, post about upcoming events where you find me, and share all things business related. If you read my blog mainly to keep track of my work, you can like the facebook page and I'll keep you updated with everything you need to know. I decided on the name Lightnest Collective to cover both the sewing and photography, and I really like it. Trevor thought of it. The logo that is in place now isn't permanent, but I wanted something there to get things going.

Also, check out the etsy shop. I posted a few bags, and more to come soon.

the sofa and some film shots

2011-03-30T17:18:00.000-04:00

Okay so here are a couple of shots that I took with a different Minolta body... the xg7. It's older than the x370. You can see on the first picture that something inside the camera left a scratch across the film as it advanced. And it skips exposures. Some of them are completely exposed. I am so in love with the look of this camera, but I am so completely frustrated that I can't find a good vintage minolta body that works. I need one that works. Consistently. Like every shot. Anyone know where I can find one?

I included some pictures of the sofa for you readers. Thanks for the comments, everyone. You guys are all so sweet. I really love you all. I'll take some more pictures of the sofa so you can get a better idea of its shape, and I'll also include some shots of the plate wall. Heck, I might even do a run-through on how I trim my bangs since Emily asked. (Emily, it's super easy.)

Piper and I have been so busy these past couple of days. I have some new things to share soon... a facebook page for lightnest, a new logo, and a brand name that unifies the sewing and photography. Oh, and I registered the domain for my site. I am really excited to share those things. Be back soon.

xo
p

stuff I like

2011-03-27T21:54:00.000-04:00

I look like I am about to start laughing in this picture. Do you remember my post on the New Year? I said I wanted to grow my hair out long again. It is finally long enough to put up. I am so beyond happy about this. I will probably wear it like this every day for a while. If you know me, get used to it. It's here to stay. And I learned how to trim my bangs myself, so I probably won't be paying to get my hair cut anytime soon. Trevor is thrilled.

Can you see the floral sofa in the background behind me? That is a vintage sofa I found at the thrift for $50. It is lovely. It has long, straight lines and is low to the ground. It was in near perfect condition. Such a good find.

I also found a 5-piece set of Fire King jadeite for $15!! I was super happy to find it. I have been looking for some forever to add to my plate wall. Did you know I have a plate wall? It's in my dining area. One of these days I'll post a pic.

We watched The Fighter last night. I loved every minute of it. I love the way it was shot, Christian Bale (and everyone else) totally blew me away, and it was such an honest look at addiction and what it can be like. I loved Mark Wahlberg's character. I loved the way it ended. So many movies end on an ambiguous note, which I realize appeals to lots of people in our postmodern generation (including me oftentimes). Not so with this film. Watch it.

Today we went to Big City Bread after church with some friends and Piper and I wandered into Blue Tin Studio which is right behind the cafe. I found this local artist that I totally love already. You can find her Tumblr here. Blue Tin is a great little spot in general. There was so much art that I wanted to put on our walls (especially Piper's).

I absolutely MUST mention One Love Photo. Their images are amazing and they shoot almost exclusively with film. They have totally influenced the direction I want to go with my pictures. I can't stop looking at their stuff. For more visual stimulation, check out my pinterest.

I want to also tell you guys about some friends that have a band called Easter Island. Their song 'Proud' was included at the end of this episode of "Off the Map" (go to about 38 minutes if you can't watch the whole thing). You can also hear the song here. It's really cool to see them get such big exposure. Also, check out the 'friends and family' section on the sidebar. I've added some friend's blogs recently.

Last, I'll be in Columbia, SC on April 16th to sell my bags at Crafty Feast. It is going to be totally awesome.. an outdoor market with independent films, live music, food, and lots of good people. Come visit me!! While I'm there, I will be spending as much time as possible at The F Stop and staring at the TLR and medium format cameras. I might rent one for the weekend.

Some good stuff is in the works... a blog makeover for Kingfly, making bags all over the place, and donating a bag and photo shoot to UGA's chapter of the Equal Justice Foundation for their upcoming benefit auction. Should be a fun night. I am planning to make my cocktail dress, so if it turns out good I'll share. If it doesn't I will probably break down and buy or borrow.

Be back soon.
xo
paige

pictures and thoughts

2011-03-25T23:08:00.002-04:00

These are some shots from a sweet time we had with friends recently. You can't hear the music but it was beautiful. There really are some special, amazing people in our life. I'm thankful.

Just so you know, I am mainly posting the rest of this to remind myself of some important things. I don't want to forget what God is teaching me right now. Recently I posted about how we were going to go camping and it was going to be a time of re-unification and remembering and planning for our family. Then I wrote about how it turned out to be too cold at night to camp with little Piper. We went instead to stay at our neighbor's cozy lake house in Thomson... anyway, I didn't write about this, but the whole trip was one of those things where our brokenness was just staring us right in the face. It was like everything came to a head in those couple of days... our selfishness, our ugliness, our tender areas of hurt being pressed. And it stormed, it rained. It was cold. The whole time. The weather was like a physical demonstration of what was going on between us. But the tension eventually broke... things were confessed and brought to the light.

I drove back through Thomson on the way to visit my parents on Monday. God met me on the way and showed me something... instead of this grey, rainy, cold landscape, everything I saw was beautiful and green with life. I felt like he spoke to me that morning. These painful things we are working through are part of the hard process of growth and discipline that is evidence of God's gracious work in our life. It's not like our ugliness and junk just comes out of nowhere... it was there all along, we just didn't see it. God is the master Artist, and He is stripping away the things that are not pleasing to his eyes. He is making us new. He's giving us life. Sometimes it is easy to forget... but we are in it for the long haul, and his plans for us are to make us reflect his image more. He is cultivating us like a garden and the rain is part of the process. This cultivation involves discipline. The writer of Hebrews said, "... but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." The fact that these things are brought to the light gives me hope because it is evidence that God is at work in our life. He began a good work in us and He will carry us, He will save us, He will finish it.

I have a couple other observations from what is happening in our life right now. One of them has to do with romance. As I think about what I thought marriage was like before I got married, I thought it was all about being on top of things and getting things right in life. I never knew until I was in the middle of it that it means being bound, as a sinner, to another sinner, and staying. It means having the hard, difficult, sweet gift of experiencing and extending grace together. Romance, for me, is not about finding a perfect man and sailing away into the ever after (he's the prefect man for me, but he is not perfect). It is about being committed to this person and making their life your life, come what may. It is about fighting brokenness together, seeing God's love triumph because sin never has the last word in our life. It means building my life and identity on the fact that God loves me perfectly, that He is my spouse, and because of that I am free to love my husband even when he fails, and he can love me freely even when I fail. I know God brought me together to be with this man. But he didn't make us instantly free of our junk when we got married. We have to work through those things together.

These are precious things that I wrote. I haven't written anything this personal on my blog in a while, because as it has grown, I backed off of writing about our family's inner workings. I just wanted to record these things to have them as a reminder to me and our family. One day I may be the only person who reads this blog, and I want to look back and know that what I wrote was real. I want to see the big picture of what God has brought us through. I am seeing God's strong hands hold me and keep me. Even though this is a hard time, it is sweet in so many ways. I am thankful for this discipline in my life. It is honest, God's truth brought to bear on my wandering heart.

Be back again soon with an introduction to my friend Tyler, the lovely girl that's helping me this summer with the lightnest shop. Maybe she'll do a guest post (that's a hint Tyler). And a follow up to the film camera saga.

xo
paige

it's been warm here

2011-03-20T17:06:00.000-04:00

Wow. This has been a crazy week. Trevor and I have been struggling with school and all that goes along with it. We would really appreciate your prayers. God has been unchanging and faithful through it all. He is so good and full of steadfast love. I haven't yet written the post about our theology that required the last post's disclaimer. I haven't had the time or energy. I'll get to it soon, and when I do, I'll title it 'disclaimer post'. That way everyone can know whether or not to read it.

Did you notice that my blog got hacked? Yah. The problem is fixed now, but apparently it was distributing malware without my consent. Lame. But like I said, it's no longer an issue and you can once again visit my blog with reckless abandon as frequently as you wish.

This past week was Trevor's spring break, and we planned to go camping. But it was still in the 40's at night. We were not very excited about Piper getting sick or being unable to sleep, so when my neighbor graciously offered us her family's lake house, we accepted. It's a cabin on Lake Oconnee in a great community. It had a cozy hammock, running water, a shower, a refrigerator, warm beds, and heat. Notice all the warm things I am mentioning... it ended up being cold and rainy the whole time we were there. We decided to come home on Wednesday. The next day was in the high seventies with lots of sunshine, and I was really wanting to get Piper outside. My friend Elisha told us about Sandy Creek Park (click for a picture)... it's a gorgeous state park that has a lake with a beach, an awesome playground, tons of woods, a frisbee golf course, and it is super clean. we packed up the car on Friday and headed out to the park. We had so much fun!! We got some sun, played in the sand and water, swung on the swings, met some other kids. I went ahead and bought an annual pass for $30. We plan to live out there this summer. Actually we plan to live out there two to three days of the week, and then work the other days. Until we can move to a farm or at least a place with some woods and grass to roam, it gives me so much joy to be outside with my girl. Our friends will be out there too!! I am so excited for our summer.

The pictures above... there's a Mexican family that lives close to the park. They built a large patio next to their house and turned it into a restaurant. The food is so amazing. It's like being in Mexico. I love the family too... they're so sweet and they really take pride in their business. Every detail is perfect and the place is so clean. I hope we can stop to eat every once in a while and support their business.

Be back soon with some pictures from a memorable night with friends... music, lovely home, sweet friends.

paige

the family these days

2011-03-09T15:55:00.001-05:00

Time for some words about the fam.

Piper is 22 months old. She is definitely developing some first-born child traits... she likes to tell us what to do. When Trevor sings with the music in the car, she says, "Don't sing that." She has also become really affectionate as of late. She gives kisses and hugs liberally. When she sees a dog, or a cat, or a bird, or anything else she knows, she says, "Hello ruff ruff (Dog). Kisses ruff ruff. I love you ruff ruff." It's always in that order. She is in the early stages of potty training. She has only actually made it into the potty once, and she has gotten super close (on the floor) like four times. I realize that my blog mainly consists of pictures of her, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but sometimes it is nice to have some variation. I am going to remedy that... I'll post some recent photog work, and also try to get more pictures of all of us together. Or at least more of Trevor and me, though they will probably be separate. Someone has to operate the camera.

Trevor traveled to Miami last weekend. He was on the mock trial team at law school this year, and they competed against other schools in a tournament. Even though they didn't advance, he really feels like he did well, especially toward the end. I know this experience gives him confidence for the time he will soon be spending in court trying cases. It is nice to have some extra time with him now that it's over :). We are planning a trip to the beach with my side of the family over winter break next year, and I realized that he will only have one semester after that... he is over half way finished, and it has gone by so quickly. He is in the process of figuring out what he'll be doing for summer employment. I am hoping he'll find something he loves.

Spring break is coming up... we're going camping :) We have so much to talk about in terms of the direction our family is headed. We need time to reflect and get centered. It can be so hard to stay unified when we are both super busy, but we want to do these things together, not alone. We want to share our successes and dreams as ours, not his or hers, and our struggles as ours, not his or hers. Our trip will involve lots of hoping, planning, sun, sleeping in our tent, hobo meals, campfires, playing with Piper, and time away from distractions. We are super excited.

I have been reading alot about film, 35mm and medium format, and fine-tuning the direction I want to with my photography. It is definitely a journey, and there are some changes I want to make sometime in the future with my equipment. But that is probably a ways off :). I am not where I want to be with my pictures, but I really have come a long way and I love the process of learning and growing. I have a fitting for the first of four bridesmaids dresses I am sewing on Friday, and a craft fair in Columbia, SC on April 16th, so between that and photo shoots, sewing class, making bags, and tending to sweet Piper, things have been full. But good. Today I had an awesome shoot with an engaged couple! They were so laid back and fun.... we planned to shoot outside, but it started raining, so we went to Big City Bread and had an awesome time together. I also recently photographed a twelve week old baby boy, a hairdresser's work, and a couple that is expecting a baby in May, all of which were super fun and super good. Also, another thing that is exciting... my friend Tyler is coming on board at lightnest this summer to sew and market the bags with me :). This is awesome. There are so many opportunities for growth that I haven't taken advantage of because of time constraints, so I am pumped to see what we can do.

Before I go, a couple of readers asked me to expand on what I wrote in my last post about our journey from narrow religiosity into vibrant relationship with God. I'll write about that next. There really is so much to say! I have been wanting to write about it since I started this blog, but never did. I think I was worried about people judging me. Which is silly. I am not worried about that as much now. This is a disclaimer, though. If you read my blog and couldn't care less for what I have to say about the Bible, or if you plan on judging me (wink wink), no worries, but maybe skip the next post. I am still glad you're here, though.

paige

John came for a visit

2011-03-05T10:30:00.002-05:00

So... when we were in Bible college in Portland, we had the opportunity to learn from some amazing teachers. John was one of those teachers, but our relationship with him was unique because he also became our friend. We first met him in the fall of 2007. I was enrolled in one of his classes, and I remember that he began the first class by talking about how awesome his job as a landscape photographer was, and how we (his students) would probably never get a job as cool as his. He was right. He gets to travel all over the world and photograph this beautiful planet we call home. You can see some of his images at www. creationcalenders.com .

Taking this class was life changing for me, and for Trevor (he was taking the same class with another amazing prof, Ray Lubeck). This was during a time when we had come from some pretty rigid, legalistic ways of thinking about God and the Bible, and had not been exposed to many voices that encouraged us to think differently. I experienced freedom in that class in some vibrant and incredible ways because I learned how to see the Biblical narrative as a whole, and how the books are all part of this great story. I saw for the first time the grandeur of God's love. Our class met at night, once a week, and one night I noticed John eating in the cafeteria. He lived outside of Portland and would commute to class, sometimes without eating at home. I took what was, for me, a big step and asked if he wanted to eat with us instead. He ended up coming for dinner every Monday night during that fall semester of 2007 and the spring of 2009, our last semester at Multnomah (I was big with child... Piper was born on May 29, two weeks to the day after we graduated). Those were precious times, though they were brief. I still remember alot of the things that John said, even though some of them didn't make sense to me at the time. We weren't ready to hear some of the things he said when he said them. It has taken time for us to work through those narrow ways of thinking, and we are still in that process. It's a journey that I hope to write about some day. Being able to talk with him about that journey was really cool. He got to meet Piper again (he met her as a brand new baby). He talked to us about his family, photography, some things he's working on, and his School of Theology.

He spoke to a group of students at the law school on Monday, and then also talked about some things he had been thinking about recently for a group of our friends at dinner. He also pointed us to some resources. We're hoping to read some together. I had to take down the list because of problems with my site. Please email me if you are interested in seeing the list. It was a great time all around. I am super humbled by the number of friends that have come to see us, and this was no exception. We're hoping to travel to Portland for John's week-long School of Theology at some point.

Anyway, I have been busy sewing and shooting! Three photo shoots already this week, new bags being made for the shop, a dress fitting next weekend for the wedding I am doing in September, preparation for a craft fair in April, and more photo shoots next week. The other parts of life have been good too -- Trevor traveled to Miami for mock trial, Piper has been having fun with the warmer weather, and I had an awesome time last night sipping cocktails and singing with the women from Resurrection. I'm still planning to do an update on our family soon, and I'll also share a link to my flickr when a couple images are up from my recent work.

Okay! Talk again soon!!
xo
paige

a new bag, and a guest post

2011-02-27T20:42:00.000-05:00

Hiya friends. Things are gearing up for spring craft fairs and such. I bought some lovely new fabrics and have come up with a couple new bag styles. This one pictured above is a roomy, cute, and easy-to-wear tote. It has nice big pockets lining the inside of the bag, and has one handle for accessibility. I chose some neutral prints to balance the color and gauzy weight of warm weather clothes. More fabric choices are available, and a couple new styles are coming soon. Email me if you want one. I plan to post a couple in the shop. They will mostly be available at Crafty Feast in Columbia, SC, the next two fairs (one in May and one in September, I hope) and in Community, a local shop that carries my bags.

Also, I wrote a little tutorial for my friend Laura's blog, Violet Bella's World. It's a simple, straightforward way to make four yards of bunting without even whipping out your yardstick.

Be back soon with an update on our little family. Lots has been going on and I haven't done a post about the three of us in a while.

paige

driven to take pictures.

2011-02-23T23:19:00.001-05:00

I have a confession for you: I am obsessed with a camera. I have spent the last couple of days agonizing over it. These pictures are not from said camera.

We have this family that we're friends with, the Snyders... Luke's parents gave him two vintage film cameras along with their respective set-ups, and he passed them on to me. One is a Minolta x370. It came with three different fast prime lenses. When I saw these lenses I fell in love. They aren't housed in cheap plastic... they are solid and so smooth to focus. I fell hard for this camera right away. The minute I looked through the viewfinder, I was ecstatic and I couldn't stop thinking of it. The view was beautiful. The other camera is a Fujica ST605N. It came with a 55mm f/2.2, but the focus is sticky and the view is not so nice. The lens is not nearly as high quality. I went the next morning and bought film.

I ruined the first two rolls of film right off the bat. One of them I rewound back into itself after only a couple of shots. The other, I opened after shooting the whole roll but before the film was rewound. I threw those away and loaded a third roll into my camera.

I just sat there and took pictures of my feet and legs on my coffee table. I couldn't get over the picture I was seeing through that viewfinder. I waited until Piper woke up from her nap, then packed her in the car and dropped this roll off at the camera store. I went to JoAnns and bought some zippers and stuff while waiting the hour for it to develop. When that hour was up, I picked up my prints and paid. I sat in the car and looked at the pictures... and I couldn't believe how beautiful they were. They weren't beautiful because of the subject matter; they were beautiful because the images were at the same time sharp as a tack and yet soft. There was a natural vignette from the camera... the colors darkened gently around the edges of the frame. The light meter on the camera had directed me to the perfect exposure, the perfect combination between light and dark (and I was so worried they wouldn't be exposed properly because I couldn't check in my LCD screen). These images had the look that editing programs and actions try to give digital pictures.... but this time, I had composed my shot, chose an exposure, positioned each element in the frame, and then committed to that image by clicking the shutter. The image went straight into the camera, onto the film, and was developed and printed onto paper. This is an honest process. I felt so proud of my pictures and confident that I made that happen. I didn't edit them in any way. I was hooked.

I couldn't wait to get home and photograph Piper.. she looks especially pretty after her naps, and I wanted to capture her on film. I loaded a new roll, started shooting, and ran into some problems. The mirror started locking in the up position. I didn't know that this was the problem... all I could tell was that the view through the finder was dark. I thought the batteries were dead. I packed up the car again and drove to the camera store to buy batteries, which they no longer carry because this camera is from the mid-eighties. Really. I was re-directed to Radio Shack. I drove across the street to the Shack, parked my car, got Piper into her stroller, and hustled in to buy my batteries and bring my camera back to life. I set up shop right there at the counter, removing the old batteries, putting in new batteries, and expressing my frustration when the camera still. would. not. work. I was dismayed. Drive home, google the issue, find out it is the mirror, a common problem for this kind of Minolta (because it is, like, old). Gently press on the shutter curtain and the mirror drops back into place. Problem solved.

I shoot another roll of film...shots of my sweet little girl. She gives kisses freely right now, and they make the best pictures, her little face is so precious. I wanted to remember this time together on this new medium that I was so moved by. I shoot two rolls and drop it off to be developed.

And I find out there is a problem.

I know this because when I drop it off to the nice people at wolf camera, they take down my name and phone number and tell me they'll call me if something is wrong with the film. They did indeed call me. It costs me about ten dollars to buy four rolls of 200 fujifilm, and then it costs about ten dollars to have the film developed and either printed or scanned and saved onto a disc as digital files. Keep that in mind as the story unfolds. Remember that shooting film is not like shooting digital... I have an emotional connection to each one of those shots because I planned them. I waited. I framed the shot. I calculated exposure. Each of these shots has a little piece of my heart in it. The camera store people said that the film was totally blank except for a couple of half exposures. At this point, I run home to try another roll, drop it off and desperately wait... and another call. No pictures. Blank film. Something is wrong with my camera.

So I have spent the past couple of days trying to fix the camera. Trying to resurrect that experience of art happening in real time in my life as I look at my little girl through a lens and press the shutter release. I can't fix it. This is a job too big for me. That feeling of helplessness is really unsettling... the feeling that things are broke, they are nothing like what they could be, and I can't fix it. The problem is beyond me. I don't even have a clue how to proceed. I could tell you how I was eventually comforted, but I just want to let this linger for a minute. This helplessness is one of those feelings that I spend so much time trying to avoid. I want to believe that I am on top of things. I want to think that I am capable of fixing the things that are wrong with my life, not only on a small level like this, but a large level as well. The truth is that I am not. This whole incident was a reminder of my smallness, of my finite-ness, of the fact that I am not all knowing, or all seeing, or all powerful, or ever present. I am so weak. I can't even fix a camera... much less my own life.

Today I broke down and bought another camera body on ebay. The thing is, the body is not what makes these images so remarkable. It is the lenses. These lenses are perfection. They are what make the image so beautiful. My new (old) x370 will arrive in three to seven business days.

So this was a valuable experience for me. Even though I am out some money, and time, and shots that could have been, I was comforted because I see things that I do wrong in my life and sometimes they are unsettling. They are unsettling because I forget my smallness. I have failed at friendships, decisions, creativity, business choices, I have been selfish as a mom and wife, I have chased after an idea of myself as bigger and better. But my husband always tells me to follow the truth wherever it leads, and he is so right. There is so much rest in that.

And I am so excited that my new camera is on the way :)

I'll leave you with some shots from the Fujica... I eventually was so frustrated that I stopped trying to fix the Minolta and just took some pictures. That is how the shots above from my d300 came to be as well. You can see the rest of my film shots here.

I haven't yet scanned those images of my feet and legs. That will mean another trip to the camera store :) I will share those soon, promise.

In remembering my weakness, I feel like I re-discovered the joy of taking pictures. I feel like I can trust my instincts more. I can have confidence in my images. I recently read an interview with an amazing photographer. One of the things he said that has stuck with me is this (he's talking about how he got to where he is now from his beginnings):

I simply stuck to my guns and decided that if I couldn’t shoot in the style that I wanted, then I would go and do something else. By sticking to my style, I was able to improve my skills as I wasn’t distracted by other styles. I’ve always wanted to master my style, and if you give me another 20 years and I’ll be somewhere close to mastering it.

Oh man, that is so good. Despite my smallness, and even though I may fail at times, I can use my creative impulse and make things that are beautiful. I can stop obsessing to make sure that things look how I want them to on my LCD screen and instead experience what is going on around me through the camera... and the outcome just ends up being so special. By not trying to be perfect, I can be me.

I am totally hooked in film and can't wait to share more with you.
xo
paige

we celebrated

2011-02-16T21:44:00.003-05:00

We celebrated Valentine's day on Sunday instead of Monday. Trevor had a mock trial scrimmage in Atlanta, and even though Piper and I were sick, we met him for dinner. The weather has been so nice in Georgia lately... I hope it doesn't get cold again.

My sewing class is going SO well! I have a really great group of women, and everyone is super excited to see their end product. The first class we covered sewing basics and practiced the stitches of our machine, as well as a pivot. The second class we made a simple pillow using a pillow form, closing the opening with a slip stitch. Next class we will cover hemming, and then after that we will discuss basic alterations. The final few classes will involved making a simple skirt and completing a pattern. It has been so fun and fulfilling to pass on my love for sewing. Did you know that I basically started sewing in 2006? Yah. I mean my mom sewed clothes for us growing up, and I would steal her machine to alter my clothes as a teenager, but I didn't really start sewing until I moved to Oregon. My friend Chelsi had an etsy business and basically welcomed me into the world of sewing. I got my first machine for Christmas that year. I started sewing clothing for myself out of necessity, and it has grown into a major part of my life. Such a gift.

I bought some AMAZING fabric to make new bags with for the spring markets. I will post a couple in etsy, but most of them will go to markets and some will go to shops in town. Can't wait to share pictures with you.

As far as the spring and summer is shaping up, I am thankful to have some great opportunities, and I am happy to say that I'll be super busy. I am shooting a baby shower on February 26th. I'll be meeting the other artists who sell at Community on the 26th as well, and then we'll together meet a group of UGA PR students to talk to them about what we do. My sewing class will continue to meet every Tuesday night until March 22nd (except one, March 17th). I'll be selling at Crafty Feast in my old stompin ground, Columbia, SC, on April 16th. I haven't yet officially received an acceptance letter, but I think I will be selling at the local craft market here in town on May 7. Piper turns two on May 29th!! I have a wedding on June 25th (hi Bonne!) which will be so beautiful. My friend Amanda Kay is getting married in September, and I have the honor of making her bridesmaid's dresses (four) and shooting the wedding! Super exciting. AND the second annual Indie Craft Parade will be held the second weekend of September again... being accepted to that market changed everything for me, and I can't wait to sell there again. It kind of sounds like alot when I type it all out.

How is it that Piper and I are STILL SICK and have been struggling for a couple of weeks now? I think we are getting better. I really will be glad for things to return to normal. My shoot on Saturday went so well, and I am really excited about the results. I will have to share some of the images soon :)

love to you all, and talk soon
xo
paige

spring is coming

2011-02-10T13:12:00.000-05:00

Spring is coming. New life, new birth. Warmth. Light.

Lightnest is returning to her roots... a vintage minimalism. White, bright, color, and florals. Breezy blouses, high waisted flowy skirts. Clothing like this is the reason I started sewing.

I have so many things I plan to make and I am looking forward to the spring craft markets. I will be selling more of my women's clothing... based on vintage patterns and fabrics but fresh. Lovely details. The blouse above is one of the first blouses I ever made, using my own pattern, sewn from a vintage sheet. I'll be making more like it, and I will take lots of photographs along the way to share. Also... styled photoshoot, this spring, my clothes and my photography!! Can't wait. One step closer to bringing it all together.

paige

lately

2011-02-07T13:19:00.001-05:00

Life has been busy... between Piper getting sick, and then getting sick myself, pushing hard to finish editing the images from a wedding I shot, Trevor's classes and workload being so big, and lots of stuff looming large in the distance... I haven't had much time (or reason) to write. I miss my blog.

I am at a point where I don't know what to do with it. I think this issue will be resolved when I have a website for my photography and sewing, but right now, this is a place where my business and personal life publicly intersect and sometimes it is weird. I feel like I can't be really open... I know some people come here mainly for updates on my work, but some people come because of everything else, and I guess I shouldn't be writing for my audience (I should just be writing) but it is hard to be honest when I don't know who my audience is. Anyway. It is a work in progress.

I am in a season with Piper where she is changing alot. She has been so independent and content just exploring the house, but as she gets bigger, she wants to be held more, she wants more interaction, more structured activities, more direction with her play. I want to give her that. I am re-learning how to work and be her mom. It has been a difficult process because feelings of fear creep in... fear that I am not giving her what she needs, fear that she is at home too much, fear that she will grow to resent me and the way our life is at home. I am just being honest. But I really believe that this in some ways is good for her... yes she needs my love and attention, but it is good for her to have that balanced with independence. It is good for her to see me do these things. It is good for our family that I work. It is good for me to grow and learn and improve, not only as a mom but as a creator as well. It is part of who I am and that is what I want to give to her... my dreams, my asthetic, my vision of creativity. I want her to take these things, change them, learn from them, and go her own way with them one day.

I am so excited that a friend is gifting me with a Minolta film setup.... a camera body and a couple lenses (hopefully there will be at least one fixed prime lens). I love the look of film. I love how sharp and clear it is. I love the 35mm format and how much you can fit in the frame (my dslr is not full frame... maybe one day). I won't be developing or printing myself... the film will go to the camera store, and then the digital copies will go onto a disc. That way I can edit them in photoshop if I want to. Super exciting.

I have a styled shoot this weekend that I could not be more thrilled about. This shoot is part of the inspiration. I love this client and I am so glad she chose me to help tell her visual story.

I have been using pinterest alot more. I will post a link to me once there is more on there. But I have to say... this photographer is my hero and I could pin every single image she makes. Her website is amazing as well. Also included some work by this artist. Her art is so incredibly beautiful.

I took the above pictures after listening to the podcasts by our friend John. Both of those talks are amazing. I miss being in his classes at Multnomah. I also cannot stop thinking about this sermon by Tim Keller (scroll down past the first one). Wow. And I have been reading Rick McKinley's book This Beautiful Mess. It is so, so good. I am really thankful for these resources, friends who love us, my church and Don's preaching, music, nourishing and delicious food, my little girl, my husband, and all the other gifts that God gives me on a daily basis just because he is love. These past few weeks have been really hard, but God has been so near. I know him more, I trust him more, and my marriage is stronger despite difficulty. I am thankful that he gives me beauty for ashes.

Be back again soon friends.
xo

one thousand cloth diapers

2011-02-01T15:05:00.002-05:00

I want you guys to meet Leigh Ladd. She and her husband Gray are in the process of adopting two little ones from Ethiopa. I learned through another friend's blog that there is a serious shortage of diapers at the home where their babies and many others are living as they wait to be adopted. This is so heartbreaking. Please read this post... it explains the 1,000 diapers goal and also how you can help. If you sew, you can find a pattern for cloth prefolds here. I have a little girl. I know how it tears me up inside when something is wrong or hurting her and I can't help. It must be difficult for these parents who are longing for their children to be home with them. Adoption has forever impacted my life... not only because I am adopted into God's family as his child, but my husband was adopted. We hope to adopt one day. The drive to collect 1,000 cloth diapers is a simple way to help these families who are on this often long and difficult journey. More than that-- it is a way to care for little people made in God's image and full of life. Jesus said that when we welcome them we welcome him. I want so much for these little ones to have full and rich lives. I think this is a good start.

treehouse kid and craft

2011-01-26T18:21:00.002-05:00

So I have been wanting to tell you about my favorite kid's shop in town... and really, I love it. It's called Treehouse Kid and Craft, and it's located on Broad right across from Peaches Fine Foods and Ohhhh, Boy Vintage. Owner Kristin Bach has curated a lovely collection of wares, and it is well worth the visit.

The shop is filled with bright, colorful, thoughtfully made and carefully selected things for little ones. They carry books, toys, games, clothing, art supplies, and accessories for moms as well. It is more than just a shop, though-- it is a DIY center, complete with a library of books and resources for parents and kids. They host group crafts for kids and parents, trunk shows, and artist's markets. They carry handmade goods from local artists and are super supportive of the creative community here in Athens. They also have a section of cute, gently used clothing. They really do welcome children... the shop is set up with a coloring table, crafting area, and friendly attention from the staff. Piper LOVED being in there. They sent her home wearing a little hat made out of craft paper with a pink pom pom on top :)

I am so thrilled that they are here in town!! This is just one more reason why I love living in Athens. I really recommend that you stop by if you live in the area. Be sure to visit their website to see their schedule for upcoming events and learn more about them. You can see the rest of the photos I took here. I want to write more in the coming weeks about some of my other favorite spots in town, just to give a better picture of the place we call home. It really is a rad place to live.

We have some exciting things coming up... lots of work to do, but work is a good thing. I have some really sweet photography gigs in the coming weeks, and I am planning to do lots of sewing... possibly some diaper bags and changing pads for Treehouse. The beginner's sewing class that I am teaching begins on February 8th at Community in downtown Athens. Please email me if you are interested, or just go by the shop for more information.

much love--

paige